Following on from The Top Ten Perl Obfus, let's count down the top ten highest rated Perl Monks poems of all time.
Since I cannot super-search by node reputation, please note that this list is based only on some non-exhaustive searching and my fallible memory. So it's quite likely I've overlooked a deserving poem. If so, please let us know, and I'll correct the root node. Note that, to make the top ten, a poem needs a reputation of at least 120.
That said, please feel free to mention any poem you consider deserving of a wider audience, even if it does not meet the formal reputation criteria. For example, I'd like to recognize and congratulate liverpole for pulling off a brilliant stunt of posting a poem entitled 600000 nodes as the 600000th PerlMonks node!
Unlike obfus, I discovered the top ten qualification criteria for poetry is not so clear-cut. For example, what many folks believe to be the finest Perl Monk node of all time, namely 1st Monasterians by Erudil, was posted not as a poem, but a meditation. Though somewhat poetic, I judged that this node did not qualify because it was not a Perl poem and was not posted in the Perl Poetry section. Curiously, a response to this node, namely Re: 1st Monasterians by japhy, did qualify because, though it too was not posted in the Poetry section, it was definitely a Perl poem. Conversely, though posted in the Perl Poetry section, I chose to disqualify Aaah, spring (A Very Special Perlmonks Contest) by boo_radley because it was a poetry competition, rather than a poem. Admittedly, these decisions were somewhat arbitrary, and someone else may have decided differently.
Now to work.
No 10: Stayin' Alive (with CPAN) by joecamel Feb 05 2004 rep:120+
Well, you can tell by the way I use File::Lock
I'm a Perl Monk: no time to talk
Got DBI and Test::More,
been reusin' code since version four
You know it's all right. It's okay.
With GD::Graph and Class::Flyweight.
We don't have time to reinvent
so we get it from CPAN.
Whether you're a hacker or whether you're a slacker
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
net communicatin' and input validatin',
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.
...
To the tune of Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees.
Though not a prolific poster, joecamel produced a number of fine poems and obfus, such as Everybody was Obfuscating and It Came From the Crypt!. A true Perl Monk artist.
No 9.3: The Tao of Programming, Chapter 1 by Felonious Oct 08, 2002 rep:120+
Based on The Tao of Programming.
No 9: The Tragedy of 9/11/2001 by jryan Sep 12 2001 rep:120+
No 8: Ogden Nash, 1902-1971 by VSarkiss Aug 20 2002 rep:120+
Sadly, VSarkiss passed away around seven years ago. He contributed many excellent nodes during his time here, including this tribute to Ogden Nash.
No 7.5: Use strict or unlink it by Jouke Apr 13 2004 rep:130+
A monk who loved die more than exit
felt blessed foreach time he could use split
he pushed and he popped
he chomped and he chopped
and warned "Just use strict or unlink it!"
No 7: Bohemian Rhapsody (part 1) by katgirl Jun 13 2002 rep:140+
I absolutely love this poem! A brilliant tribute to one of the finest songs of all time, Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sadly, katgirl has been absent for eight years now and so seems unlikely to write any more poems. Given her outstanding talent, that's a pity.
No 6.9: Great Perl Literature by petdance Oct 03 2001 rep:140+
A quiz in the form of a poem. Which book does each Perl code snippet represent?
BTW The Perl Diner is another excellent poem written by petdance.
No 6.5: Perl Mambo by jkahn Sep 15 2002 rep:140+
To the tune of Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega.
No 6.3: Monk Levels by MZSanford Jul 24 2001 rep:150+
A poetic tribute to the PerlMonks Voting/Experience system.
No 6.1: I Was a Saint (sung to the tune of "I Will Survive") by sauoq Nov 01 2005 rep:150+
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never reach those levels up so high
Then I spent a few minutes thinking maybe it wouldn't take so long
And I grew strong
And I resolved to play along
And so I'm no longer a Saint
I just walked in to find that where so many were they now just ain't
I would have taken that screen shot
Recorded it for posterity
If I had known for just one second it'd be gone so suddenly
...
To the tune of I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor.
Presumably this funny song was composed to get more XP quick in response to Petruchio posting A Level Playing Field the day before. See also: Levels of Monks and Translation of the Perlmonks levels ....
No. 6: R0z3z 4r3 R3d by dws Mar 10 2001 rep:160+
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Taint check your scripts,
0r 1 w1ll 0wn u.
Roses are red,
Tulips are fine,
Eval that param,
And u'r b0x w1ll b3 m1n3.
Roses are funny,
But this code is a hoot.
open() that $string,
And z00n 1'l h4v3 r00t!
Top 30 Perl Monk dws further clarified the intent of this poem:
The "l337 sp34k" in the poem alludes to the consequences of deploying poor code, particularly CGIs that don't taint check their parameters. Read it from the point of view of a script kiddie. It's intended to grate on your ears.
No 5.5: I just want to siiiing! by Petruchio Nov 22 2000 rep:180+
Monks:
He's a Perl Hack, and he's okay,
He hacks all night and he sleeps all day!
Petruchio:
I write my code, I take lunch breaks,
I go to the Monastery!
Sometimes I post my homework,
And merlyn yells at me!
Monks:
He writes his code, he takes lunch breaks,
He goes to the Monastery!
Sometimes he posts his homework,
And merlyn yells at... him.
All:
He's a Perl Hack, and he's okay,
He hacks all night and he sleeps all day!
Petruchio:
I debug code, I call in sick,
I stay home and play Doom!
I write annoying letters
About MonkMail to vroom!
...
To the tune of The Lumberjack Song by Monty Python.
Quite a bit of interesting PerlMonks history in this ditty ... old homework posts, merlyn, vroom, AgentM and the protracted MonkMail! campaign.
No 5: The strictures, according to Seuss by toolic May 14 2008 rep:180+
Do you like use warnings and strict?
I do not like use warnings and strict.
Do you like them here or there?
I do not like them here or there?
I do not like them anywhere.
...
toolic composed this clever Perl tribute to Dr Suess and Green Eggs and Ham.
No 4: my @chickens by pjf Oct 04 2001 rep:180+
After quietly contemplating the chickens in his backyard, subsistence farmer and Perl expert pjf wittily summarizes their behavior in just half a page of Perl.
By the way, pjf is one of the few monks I've met in real life. In addition to running chickens, he has a keen interest in picking and eating wild plants that you won't find in any supermarket.
Update: See also: Chickens References
No 3: The Doom of the Noldor by Erudil Jun 13 2000 rep:200+
Yet another Erudil classic, this time a Perl poem based on the works of J.R.R.Tolkien.
No 2: Re: 1st Monasterians by japhy Mar 06 2002 rep:240+
japhy converts Erudil's 1st Monasterians masterpiece into a Perl poem.
No 1: Fish dinner by suaveant Jun 04 2001 rep:320+
I found this really funny and upvoted it without hesitation when I first set eyes on it years ago. Admittedly, suaveant marketed this node relentlessly by making it part of his sig. I still feel this is a very worthy number one, a fantastic poem.
Since reading this poem, I always pronounce the sqrt function as "squirt". :)
References
Updated Dec 27 2014: Added poem 5.5, poem 6.1, poem 6.3, poem 6.5 poem 6.9, poem 7.5, poem 9.3 which I had missed in my original post (thanks tye). Omitted 6.7 as it is a poetry competition, not a poem.