in reply to What if it were you instead of Linus?
My response to these inquiries is always the same:
Greeting Earthlings!,
I am Zoogar, an extra-terrestial from a star system in another universe. A universe which has no copyright laws and only 2 dimensions. However it is etched onto a holographic surface and thus appears to have infinite dimensions (depending on how you squint at the holograph). But I digress...
I am on your planet to learn all that you know. Not very much, I agree, so my stay shouldn't take more than a few nanoseconds (in my system's timeframe).
To enhance my perception of you and your habitat I have found it necessary to temporarily assume control of a human. I chose as my vehicle, jacques, when I wrote that Perl module.
I am now using the Internet to absorb all your information. Please supply me with more facts. I find facts very yummy.
-Zoogar
Funny that I never hear back from them again ...