http://www.perlmonks.org?node_id=423100

First of, I envy all those that do not have to turn in such load of (censored). The less lucky of us Perl Monks, expecialy those whose mothers language is not English yet they have to fill the forms in a language that resembles English to some extent, would definitely appreciate some help. Maybe just in the form of a list of meaningless hyperbolic businesslike phrases to choose from. You can even take this seriously and contemplate on what did you acomplish in the past year and what do you plan for the next one if you are so inclined.

  1. Using your objectives established for the prior year, summarize the results you achieved for each. Which objectives did you meet, exceed, or fall short on?
  2. What additional accomplishments did you achieve during the past year?
  3. What do you feel are your major strengths in your role? How can your strengths be further leveraged?
  4. In what areas do you feel you need to further develop? How can your manager help?

What objectives (SMART – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound) do you plan for the upcomming year in the following areas:

  1. Financials (profitability, growth, efficiency, headcount, productivity, sales, etc.)
  2. Service (customer retention, customer satisfaction, level of service, customer survey results, etc.)
  3. People (employee development, employee morale, employee commitment, people survey, performance appraisals completed, objectives set, low turnover rate, etc.)
  4. Competition/Market Share
  5. Innovation (product or process improvements, problem solving, advancements, etc.)
  6. Professional Development (personal goals for your professional development)

And now the funniest part, corporate values. Choose two or three and describe at least one way in which you have contributed to making that value a reality over the past year, whate else can you do in the upcomming year and what assistance do you need from your manager:

  1. Customer Focus - We are deeply committed to meeting and exceeding the needs of our customers. We consistently focus on customer satisfaction by listening and delighting our customers.
  2. Accountability - We value people who "do what they say" and we strive for a results-oriented organization whose primary measures of success are growth, customer and employee satisfaction, and shareholder value.
  3. Entrepreneurial Passion and Innovation - We candidly challenge the status quo and reinvent the way we do business to better win in the marketplace.
  4. Fairness in All You Do - We recognize that people are the cornerstone of Xxxxx's success, we value diversity as a source of strength and we believe in treating people fairly and with respect.
  5. Zeal to Win - We have a competitive zest for winning in everything we do. We are committed to a world-class customer experience, leading in global markets we serve, acting with integrity, being known as a great company and a great place to work.
  6. The Xxxxx Team - We know that to be a successful company we must work together as one team and provide each team member the opportunity to learn, develop, and grow. We are committed to be a meritocracy and to attracting, growing, and retaining the best people. We believe that no matter how large we grow, each and every one of us can make a difference.
  7. Leadership - We value leaders who take the company personally and have a sense of urgency and excitement. They strive for optimal results, lead by example and give credit to their teammates for success and assume personal responsibility for failure.

(The company name was Xxxxxed out to protect the guilty. I guess it'd not be that hard to find out which one it is anyway.)

I wonder how many personhours are wasted each year in these actions.

Jenda
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home
   -- P. Simon in Mrs. Robinson