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my $one = !$|;
my $one = cos; # Given that $_ == 0.
my $one = $>/$>; # Effective user ID.
my $one = $(/$(; # (Space-separated list of) group ID(s).
my $one = $)/$); # (Space-separated list of) effective group ID(s
my $two = length $:;
my $two = $^F; # Note: system-dependent.
I make decisions, and my brain carries them out
My brain makes the decisions, and I observe them (if I'm lucky)
I make some decisions, and my brain makes others
My spouse makes decisions and I and my brain carry them out
I wrote a program to relieve me and my brain from the burden of decision-making
The black-helicopter people project the decisions into my brain and then I do as ordered
Results (488 votes),