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my $one = !$|;
my $one = cos; # Given that $_ == 0.
my $one = $>/$>; # Effective user ID.
my $one = $(/$(; # (Space-separated list of) group ID(s).
my $one = $)/$); # (Space-separated list of) effective group ID(s
my $two = length $:;
my $two = $^F; # Note: system-dependent.
There is no Extraterrestrial life
There aren't any suitably capable Extraterrestrials
Interstellar travel is too difficult
We're too uncool / not worth the trouble
What do you mean they haven't visited?
Results (475 votes). Check out past polls.