Its strange that you talk so much at length about Perl 5 and not mention a word about Perl 6.
Nothing that Perl 5 can ever do will bring back those glory days. Mostly because many things that Perl 5 used to offer as USP are now available in other languages. The remaining ones don't really make that much of killer features.
Perl 6 was supposed to fix these very problems. Due to unfixable problems plaguing Perl 5. And we haven't seen anything from the Perl 6 project that could be considered worth replacing Perl 5.
A moment of introspection. Don't take this is as a the usual Perl 6 troll posts. But frankly speaking how much of band aid can possibly fix Perl 5.?It can keep Perl 5 alive for its existing user base. But there is no way you can compete with the newer breed of languages with routine 2 year release making small time syntax improvements.
Perl 6 has to also take it as seriously as Perl 5 does. Stop pedantic debates on production readiness and release something what rest of the world considers production ready.