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Suessified Perl Poem

by KM (Priest)
on May 24, 2000 at 20:36 UTC ( #14592=poem: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??

I had this published in TPJ Summer '99 issue. But, in case you don't read it (which you should!) I thought I would share it here too. As with all my Perl Poetry, this will run.

if ("a packet hits a pocket") {
    On: a;
    socket(ON, A ,PORT,"")
           && the bus is interrupted as a very-last-resort
           && the address of the memory makes your 
              floppy disk, abort;
		
} else {

    "The socket packet pocket has an";
    error: to-report;
} 

if ("your cursor finds a menu item") { 
    "followed by a dash"
            && "the double clicking icon";
    puts: your-items-in-the-trash
            && your data is corrupted cause the 
               index("doesn't", "hash");

} else {
   "Your situation is hopeless"
            && Your system's gonna crash;
} 

if ("the label on the cable") {
    On-the-table, at-your-house;
    Says_the; 
    sub network {"is connected to the button on your mouse"};
    BUT: Your-packets, want-to; 
    {/tunnel to another protocol/};
    thats: repeatedly-rejected; 
    {/by the printer/}; "down the hall"
            && "YOUR SCREEN is all distorted";
    {/by the side effects of Gauss/};
    so: "your icons", in-the-window;
    "are as wavy as a souse";

} else {
    YOU: "may as well reboot" && "go out with a !";
    CAUSE: /Sure as Im a poet/;
    THIS: suckers-gonna-hang;
}

print "Seuss as a tech writer - Kevin Meltzer\n"; 
	

Comment on Suessified Perl Poem
RE: Suessified Perl Poem
by johannz (Hermit) on May 24, 2000 at 22:36 UTC
    I had to remove an apostrope on line 32. I don't believe you can have punction in labels.
    Otherwise, this was quite good.
      Your right. I took the HTML from TPJ's online version (so I could have the nice format).. I believe someone edited that from my original poem. Thanks for pointing that out.. fixed it.

      Cheers,
      KM

RE: Suessified Perl Poem
by mcwee (Pilgrim) on May 25, 2000 at 00:09 UTC
      But -w complains greatly inter alia: Unquoted string "suckers" may clash with future reserved word This, of course, is a reference to a reserved word in the future version of Perl to be shipped with Visual Stew-dee-oh 7.9 :-)
      Updated: This is not in any way a gripe - your poem is really superb. Kudos man!

      Updated: Jeez, I'm a prophet. Look what I just saw on the ActiveState site Visual Perl and Visual Python will leverage Visual Studio 7.0
RE: Suessified Perl Poem
by cacofonix (Novice) on Jun 02, 2000 at 16:26 UTC
    Just had to say - brilliant! As I sit here in the midst of code block - I have to say it made my day :-) thanks
RE: Suessified Perl Poem
by Nitsuj (Hermit) on Jul 27, 2000 at 21:30 UTC
    Wow, that was really well written. I must say, when I was reading it, I was thinking of it in verse, singsong in my head and thinking of funky little fun music that could go in behind it. Good poetry!

    "We're all different!"
    "I'm not"
    -The Life of Brian

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