|No such thing as a small change|
beppuby beppu (Hermit)
|on May 31, 2000 at 01:33 UTC||Need Help??|
I have been using perl since the Winter of 1998. On December 6, 2000 (my birthday), I received my PAUSE id. That was the best birthday present I've ever received.
I am currently stranded in Utah, but I used to live in California. Maybe I'll go back in a few more months.
update (2001-07-04): I am no longer stranded in Utah! I live in San Rafael, CA , and I like it so far.
update (2002-02-28): I miss Utah, because I had more friends there. They were good friends, too, who went out of their way to help me improve myself. "Crazy" Dave Phillips, Spaghetti, and Jinah Kim -- there's no one like them here in California.
update (2002-07-01): Where do I begin? Working for Linux Magazine really brought me down. I was moping around for months, feeling powerless. Then, I had a life changing experience that made 13 years of my sadness disappear in a moment, and I don't think I had ever felt happier in my life. Beyond the psychological benefits, I noticed many physical benefits such as my lung capacity feeling like it doubled, my physical coordination becoming really good, becoming very perceptive of the emotional states of others, feeling like I genuinely loved everybody in the world, and being able to think much more quickly than before. That was on 2002-03-30, and that was the day I became an adult and a free man at the same time. It took me 26 years to do it, but better late than never.Two weeks after that, I went to Japan with my dad. It had been 11 years since I had been there, and I only stayed a week, but it was the best out of my 5 trips. My Japanese speaking ability came back to me really quickly, and I made all my nieces and nephews happy -- the kids were awesome. The adults were a mixed bag. Some were cool, but others were too materialistic, and I feared for their children's future happiness.
I saw homeless people in Japan for the first time, and they looked so sad ...like salarymen who couldn't make the cut. They'd be camping out in the train stations, just looking bummed. Hakata in northern Kyushu and Tokyo seemed to have the most. My dad was about to throw away some extra food that we had been lugging around, but I made him give it to a homeless man in Hakata, instead.
Hakata wasn't all bad, though. At that train station, there were a bunch of young 20-somethings who were performing on the street, playing their guitars and singing their brand of folkish rock. Some of them were playing to a small gathering of fans while others were by themselves, but playing anyway. There were guys and girls doing this, and I thought that was cool.
We got to see all this stuff and more, because we rode a lot of trains while we were there. The Shinkansen (bullet train) is so fast, cruising at ~300km/h?, and yet the ride is so smooth. Watching the scenery zoom by was awesome, especially when we'd go over a still body of water, because the sky and the clouds would be reflected on the surface. The forests were beautiful, too -- Japan is so green and lush. I love it. Too bad I was only there for 6 days, but I'll be back in due time.
When I got back to the United States, I had to figure out what I wanted to do next. I think my time in computing is coming to an end, soon. I don't want to program for money, anymore, because it's usually not socially useful to do so. I'd rather use my coding skills for good than for someone else's material profit. That doesn't mean I won't ever code for money again, because I need to finish payments on my car and get the IRS off my back. But once I'm completely out of debt, I'm going to feel free to do my part in saving the world from itself.
I want to help people find the peace within their souls.
update (2004-07-17): Two years later, I happen to be living in Huntington Beach, CA, and I'm not sure what happened. I'm glad I wrote the entry just prior to this, because it's helping me remember how alive I was feeling at the time. It also gives me hope that I might feel that way again. More later...
update (2005-09-21): I feel obligated to update this, but....
These were my home pages. They are a reflection of another me.
<img src="http://beppu.lbox.org/img/angel.jpg" alt="The Angel" width="386" height="532">