Oh, I know all about being the one that's blamed for management mis-expectation (see any or all in my Drama series). It is yet another Ouroboros. I guess all I can say is that as we like-minded developers move forward in the ranks, begin to manage, project manage, lead and architect, we can begin to effect the correct change on those that follow us, and those above that have learned to listen to us.
I've been slowly integrating my thoughts on project management (that there should be some) and expectation management (that we should help dictate time lines, etc, since we know how the hell to actually do our job) around my work place, but there is still such a long way to go.
Flex the Geek