I went through the same situation last year and the advice I, and others, gave earlier did work1. Ok, I hope my use of contradictory bold text wasn't insulting. :) I think you make good points. I do believe that what one does for money is tied to one's psychology and I don't think that's bad or something to try to lose with therapy or chanting or whatever. Pride, and food for the children2, comes from what we do. It's natural and right. I'd say you did exactly the right thing as difficult as it was. Quitting stops being "exactly the right thing" when there are deep commitments (house, kids, etc).
1 ...mostly. The "dream job" has turned out to be less "modern Perl + best practices" and more piling the spaghetti higher on a frustratingly bad and tangled decade old codebase. Honest work though, unlike the last gig, and with a nice team and room to look around for someone who is really doing Perl right.
2 Accidental reference to an awesome HeavyMetal piece from... well, a very long time ago.
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