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The best way to get food in my mouth is...

by tye  (Monk)
on Mar 14, 2004 at 06:44 UTC ( #336465=poll: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??

vote on The best way to get food in my mouth is...

Knife
[bar] 5/1%
Spoon
[bar] 30/4%
Fork
[bar] 107/16%
Spork
[bar] 41/6%
Chop sticks
[bar] 87/13%
Tortilla
[bar] 52/8%
A straw
[bar] 7/1%
The bowl
[bar] 5/1%
My tongue
[bar] 6/1%
My fingers
[bar] 89/13%
Someone else's fingers
[bar] 128/19%
Ballistics
[bar] 40/6%
Lego mindstorm
[bar] 55/8%
P38 (whichever)
[bar] 22/3%
674 total votes
Comment on The best way to get food in my mouth is...
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by lemming (Priest) on Mar 14, 2004 at 07:54 UTC
    And if one is having a Guinness one uses a pint.
    -Mark    http://www.kittydream.org
      Else if one has Guinness, pour on a plate and eat with a fork. Delicious!
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by arrow (Friar) on Mar 14, 2004 at 12:58 UTC
    Come on, nothing beats high-speed food!

    Just Another Perl Wannabe
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by Paulster2 (Priest) on Mar 14, 2004 at 14:17 UTC

    Studies have shown that while the knife/fork/spoon combo is probably the most widely used, high speed full facial auto injection is by far the prefered methodry.

    Paulster2

    PS: A forgotten mode of food-to-mouth transport might be the shovel.

      PS: A forgotten mode of food-to-mouth transport might be the shovel.

      This has not been forgotten; go to a state fair or a NASCAR race and take a look around, if you dare.

      --
      tbone1, YAPS (Yet Another Perl Schlub)
      And remember, if he succeeds, so what.
      - Chick McGee

Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by flyingmoose (Priest) on Mar 14, 2004 at 19:52 UTC
    Those people voting spork need a talking too. This will only increase world-wide spork proliferation. Sporkage everywhere! Imagine all the horror. Eventually there may be spork silverware in your own home! Face it folks, it's nearly as useless as those little flexible plastic knives. They cut toast, but that's about it.

    Besides, I insist, it's not a spork, it's a foon...

    FWIW, I was the first to vote P38. Which P38? The one where Larry explains regular expressions? Or the can opener? Heaven knows you can't eat using a can-opener. It sure beats the straw though.

    Other good poll options would be "magically turn it into a pizza" or "increase proximity to beer source". I still want to see this Mindstorm spork (no! foon!) however.

      If the US P38 food can access device is anything like the Australian Army tin-opener, then it has an integrated spoonife section at the end opposite the opener blade.
      -R
      Does anyone else think of The Swedish Chef when they see the word "spork"? Probably just me.

      --
      tbone1, YAPS (Yet Another Perl Schlub)
      And remember, if he succeeds, so what.
      - Chick McGee

Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by Anomynous Monk (Scribe) on Mar 14, 2004 at 21:18 UTC
    Wouldn't this be a more appropriate poll for Dead Turkey day? (Yes, I know; a US-only holiday about as non-PC as it gets.)
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by rdm (Hermit) on Mar 15, 2004 at 03:43 UTC
    Given that >60% of my diet is asian in origin, chopstick proficiency is a given.
    That aside, the image of using a P38 (figher) as an ingestion aide is surreal, to say the least!
    -R
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by Chmrr (Vicar) on Mar 15, 2004 at 10:28 UTC

    I like sporks, personally. They don't have to be made of plastic, y'know. Though a spork with broken off tines makes for a good knife. Or would that be a sporife?

Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by hardburn (Abbot) on Mar 15, 2004 at 16:56 UTC

    Ask any Mideval peasant. A dead cow launched from a Trebuchet is not a very good way to get food. Run away!

    ----
    : () { :|:& };:

    Note: All code is untested, unless otherwise stated

      Python references on a Perl forum? I should turn you into a newt.
        he'll get better...
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by kutsu (Priest) on Mar 15, 2004 at 21:55 UTC

    I voted Tortilla, but really any type of bread will do. MMM...Sandwich :)

    "Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum - I think that I think, therefore I think that I am." Ambrose Bierce

Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by TVSET (Chaplain) on Mar 15, 2004 at 23:58 UTC
    Eating with chopsticks provides me with the most satisfaction, since it also implies that:
    • I am not working.
    • I am not at home.
    • I am drunk.
    • My beautiful wife is still with me and she still loves me.
    • There are probably few friends around.
    • I can afford something better than a hamburger and salad.
    • Tomorrow is probably not a working day. :)
      True. I feel like a Japanese when I use chopsticks. And I feel good to think that I can afford to eat as much salmons or spicy tunas rather plain simple fries or tacos.
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by Anonymous Monk on Mar 17, 2004 at 00:50 UTC
    Whatever happend to the choice of "foot"?
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by belg4mit (Prior) on Mar 17, 2004 at 05:48 UTC
    Spork! after having created a home-made metal spork by transferring the venerable Taco Bell spork to a spoon with a hacksaw I managed to locate this.

    --
    I'm not belgian but I play one on TV.

Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by ccarden (Monk) on Mar 17, 2004 at 13:23 UTC
    I'm not Indian, but chapati, roti, nan, or rotli would have been a good item, too. I'll bet you would have gotten a high percentage for that one.

    And, not forgetting any breath-arians out there, breathing is a good answer, as well. Breath-arian: that's one step above vegetarian and fructarian.

Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by simon.proctor (Vicar) on Mar 17, 2004 at 13:27 UTC
    Funnel - for that liquid meal.
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by Tux (Monsignor) on Mar 22, 2004 at 15:16 UTC
    I miss a vital entry: someone else's mouth. Olives is a great starting practice, but just see that as starters: strawberries, icecream, peas, ....
    Enjoy, Have FUN! H.Merijn
      well I think it's not a bad method...as long as things aren't passed after they've been chewed. I read that and instantly thought of chewed peas...ew!
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by Anonymous Monk on Mar 22, 2004 at 19:31 UTC
    Someone else's tongue?

    {grin}
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by Anonymous Monk on Mar 22, 2004 at 20:14 UTC
    Telekinesis. :)
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by PERLscienceman (Curate) on Mar 23, 2004 at 03:01 UTC
    Matter Energy Transport: Beam It In! :)
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by P0w3rK!d (Pilgrim) on Mar 23, 2004 at 18:39 UTC
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by Anonymous Monk on Mar 25, 2004 at 21:23 UTC
    there is no spoon...or fork, or chopsticks, etc etc...

    eric

Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by shenme (Priest) on Mar 25, 2004 at 21:29 UTC
    Actually, I'd've liked to answer "Concentrate!"

    My (first) programming injury was brought on by a fork, inserted in mouth, and not successfully de-inserted before attempting to chew.   I was thinking so hard about the current mindbender (OS deadlocks) that I'd just not enough cycles left to successfully eat at the same time.

    For some reason, no one knowing me seems surprised when I tell them about it.

      umm, quickly?! am I alone?.


      I can't believe it's not psellchecked
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by markmoon (Deacon) on Mar 27, 2004 at 10:10 UTC
    Obviously the Spork should be the right answer here on Perlmonks... a tool that can adapt to the task at hand. Plus it's just fun to say... "Spork". Try it... see, I told you.
    --
    @a = ("a".."z"," ","-","\n");foreach $b ( 12,0,17,10,24,12,14,14,13,26,8,18,26,0,26, 22,0,13,13,0,27,1,4,26,15,4,17,11,26,7,0, 2,10,4,17) {print $a[$b]};print $a[28];
Re: The best way to get food in my mouth is...
by blue_cowdawg (Prior) on Mar 28, 2004 at 02:41 UTC

    That depends on what it is really...

    UtensilFood Item(s)
    Fingers
    • Corn on the cob
    • chicken fingers
    • hot wings
    • Barbeque in general
    • Pizza
    Hands
    • Hamburgers
    • Hot Dogs (with or without bun)
    • Sandwiches in general
    • Almost anything if I'm in a real hurry!
    Chopstics
    • Sushi/Sashimi
    • Rice
    • Asian food in general
    Knife and Fork
    • Steak
    • Pasta and Sauce
    • Breakfast
    10 oz tumbler
    • Whiskey in general
    • Bourbon
    Two Straws
    • A keg of beer

    That's just a few I can think of right now...


    Peter L. Berghold -- Unix Professional
    Peter at Berghold dot Net
       Dog trainer, dog agility exhibitor, brewer of fine Belgian style ales. Happiness is a warm, tired, contented dog curled up at your side and a good Belgian ale in your chalice.

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