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Re: If perl was a woman...

by davido (Archbishop)
on Mar 29, 2004 at 07:24 UTC ( #340528=note: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??


in reply to If perl was a woman...

If Perl were a woman:

  • I wouldn't understand her so well.
  • She would shop for new stylish GUI's incessantly.
  • Command line switches would all start with "-Please honey?"
  • Her logic would be tempered by occasional mood swings.
  • CPAN would have flowers growing in its garden, and new curtains to match its color-coordinated CSSheets.
  • One liners? I don't think so. No such thing.
  • Golf? Finish your chores first.
  • She wouldn't need sort, as things would never get out of order in the first place.
  • She wouldn't be able to execute scripts that require maps.
  • V-strings would never have been invented; too darn uncomfortable.
  • She would call her male friend to help whenever a bug is found.
  • CPAN would be her closet full of mix-and-match accessories.
  • Use of strictures no longer optional. But warnings will be in the form of stern looks.
  • She would no longer become jealous of the computer when her husband spends long hours fiddling with her code.
  • There is still more than one way to do it.

Dave


Comment on Re: If perl was a woman...
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Re: Re: If perl was a woman...
by Anneq (Vicar) on Mar 30, 2004 at 12:46 UTC

    If Perl were a man:

    • You wouldn't need CPAN. Perl would only "require" beer, food, sex, and sleep.
    • Command line switches would all start with "-Are you in the mood, Honey?"
    • Scripts could use maps but would have help disabled.
    • Hashes would be piped in.
    • Date functions would result in memory leaks.
    • Two different scripts running on the same computer would cause a race condition.
    • Anneq

Re: Re: If perl was a woman...
by davido (Archbishop) on Mar 30, 2004 at 06:57 UTC
    Ok, I have to post a few more....

    If Perl were a woman:

    • Larry Wall would become a hall-of-fame'er akin to Don Juan, Rico Suave, Sean Connery, etc.
    • Saints would be sinners.
    • PerlMonks would be envied by geeks worldwide.
    • We would all become slaves to her charm.
    • People who regularly use Perl, C, Java, Python, Ruby, and Visual Basic would be known as polygamists.
    • People who set up websites to sell CGI scripts would be known as pimps.
    • Public Domain scripts would be a little like the free-love movement of the 60's.
    • My email box would start getting spammed with messages whos subject lines shout, "Hard-core Regular Expressions EXPOSED!"
    • XS programming, Symbol-table manipulation, and blessed filehandles would earn your script an "R" rating.
    • Modules and Packages would all contain new shoes, except for package main, which would contain chocolates.

    Dave

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