Beefy Boxes and Bandwidth Generously Provided by pair Networks
XP is just a number

jdporter's scratchpad

by jdporter (Canon)
on Jun 01, 2004 at 20:54 UTC ( #358590=scratchpad: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

Last update: Feb 06, 2012 at 05:00 UTC

for davies, regarding proposed tutorial RFC Tutorial: Adding and extracting VBA to and from Excel files

Comments on the tutorial itself:

  1. All of the material currently in your "introduction" is footnote material. I'd move it into an actual footnote. And write a real introduction explaining what the tutorial is about! Don't just jump straight into code, expecting the reader to deduce what he's learning about.
  2. Make your code look good at standard wrapping widths, e.g. as Anonymous Monk would see the node. As it is, the "Comment" comments wrap; it looks really bad. I think I'd put the "Comments" on their own lines, either above or below the associated code line.
  3. Consider giving each comment a meaningful ID (like a variable name?) rather than just a number. But this is minor.

If we are going to convert this meditation directly into a tutorial, rather than having you repost:

  1. Delete the paragraph at the top, in which you provide context on the origin of the post. It's way too old for anyone to care now.
  2. Delete the last two paragraphs (after your signature). Again - no one cares about the edits you made back then. It would be one thing if we needed to maintain context for any comments on the post... but there aren't any!

All that being said - I'm not sure this is Tutorials-quality, in the sense that you're really just showing a very specific technique for accomplishing a very arcane task. I'd say it's a better fit for the Cool Uses for Perl section, frankly. It's certainly very cool; I don't mean to take that away from it at all.

As for your other -- RFC Tutorial - Deleting Excel Rows, Columns and Sheets -- It looks really good to me. I'd post it in Cool Uses for Perl ASAP! (Or in Meditations. If you post it in CUFP, modify the title appropriately.)

for Lady_Aleena

my $total_population = $generations{$_}; $total_population += $generations{$_ - 1} if $generations{$_ - 1}; $total_population += $generations{$_ - 2} if $generations{$_ - 2};

for tye

store this in a .vbs file, e.g. eject_drives.vbs. run directly as a command. windows knows how to execute .vbs files.
dim sh, f, i, v set sh = CreateObject("Shell.Application") set f = sh.NameSpace(17) 'My Computer' for each i in f.Items ' MsgBox i.Name & "=" & i.Type if (i.Type = "CD Drive") then for each v in i.Verbs if (v.Name = "E&ject") then v.DoIt() end if next end if next

For Devanchya:

use List::Util qw( shuffle ); use strict; use warnings; my @upper = 'A'..'Z'; my @lower = 'a'..'z'; $_ = "What That April With His Shoures Soote The Drought Of Marche Hath Perced To The Roote "; $" = ''; eval "y/@upper@lower/@{[shuffle @upper]}@{[shuffle @lower]}/"; print

This code appears in the Perl Cookbook, 2nd Ed., and was allegedly taken from Mastering Regular Expressions.

It alleges properly to parse quoted CSV fields with embedded commas and double-quotes, but my test of this utterly fails.

sub parse_csv1 { my $text = shift; # record containing comma-separated values my @fields = ( ); while ($text =~ m{ # Either some non-quote/non-comma text: ( [^"',] + ) # ...or... | # ...a double-quoted field: (with "" allowed inside) " # field's opening quote; don't save this ( now a field is either (?: [^"] # non-quotes or | "" # adjacent quote pairs ) * # any number ) " # field's closing quote; unsaved }gx) { if (defined $1) { $field = $1; } else { ($field = $2) =~ s/""/"/g; } push @fields, $field; } return @fields; }
my @f = parse_csv1('first,"second","thi,rd","fou""rth"'); print "$_\n" for @f;
first second thi rd fou rth

Solution: The problem is on line 15:

( now a field is either
Because the /x switch is in effect, the programmer can, and did, embed comments within the regex. But there is no way for the compiler to check when a # has been accidentally omitted!

Change the line to:

( # now a field is either
IIRC, credit for finding this bug goes to ikegami, and possibly ambrus as well. Thanks, guys!

A couple ideas for styling threads when the
"Lay out threads as <div> instead of <table>" setting is enabled:
/* a basic one: */ div.header { background-color: #EEE; padding: 3px; border-bottom: 1px +solid blue; } ul.replies:before { content: url( +ng) } ul.replies { list-style-type: none; padding-left: 40px; } li.reply { border: 1px solid blue; } /* a fun one: */ div.header { background-color: #DFB; padding: 3px; } ul.replies:before { content: url( +ng) } ul.replies { border-left: 2px solid red; padding: 3px; list-style-type +: none; padding-left: 20px; } li.reply { border-top: 2px solid blue; padding: 3px; } /* both will need something like this: */ div.comment-on { text-align: center; font-size: larger; background-col +or: #DFB; }

<jcw> Jebus, I can't type. <jcw> Perhaps a typing exercise would help. *<* zdog has been kicked off channel #perlmonks by jcw (The quick brow +n fox kicked over the whining dog) <jcw> Yea, that worked. *<* Signoff: castaway (Ping timeout) *<* Signoff: theorbtwo (Ping timeout) <jcw> 3 for the price of 1!

{ package Foo; use overload '""' => \&as_string; sub as_string { "Foo!" } } $_ = bless {}, 'Foo'; /(.*)/ and print "$1\n"; # does this print "Foo!" or "Foo=HASH(0xdeaded)"?

Special Characters in Unicode

Source: Mapping of Unicode characters

Character NameCode point (hex)Character between two Zeroes
Word Joiner&#x2060;0⁠0
Zero-width joiner&#x200D;0‍0
Zero-width non-joiner&#x200C;0‌0
Zero-width space&#x200B;0​0
Zero-width no-break space&#xFEFF;00
Combining Grapheme Joiner&#x034F;0͏0
Invisible Separator&#x2063;0⁣0
Invisible Times&#x2062;0⁢0
Function Application&#x2061;0⁡0
Space&#x0020;0 0
En Quad&#x2000;0 0
Em Quad&#x2001;0 0
En Space&#x2002;0 0
Em Space&#x2003;0 0
Three-Per-Em Space&#x2004;0 0
Four-Per-Em Space&#x2005;0 0
Six-Per-Em Space&#x2006;0 0
Figure Space&#x2007;0 0
Punctuation Space&#x2008;0 0
Thin Space&#x2009;0 0
Hair Space&#x200A;0 0
Left-to-Right Mark&#x200E;0‎0
Mathematical Space&#x205F;0 0
Soft Hyphen&#x00AD;0­0
Non-breaking Hyphen&#x2011;0‑0
No-break Space&#x00A0;0 0
Narrow No-break Space&#x202F;0 0
Zero-width space&#x200B;0​0
Line separator&#x2028;0
Paragraph separator&#x2029;0
horizontal tab &#x0009; 0 0
linefeed &#x000A; 0 0
carriage return &#x000D; 0 0
newline &#x0085; 0…0

Gvim commands for using folds to browse Perl data structures generated by Data::Dumper, given that $Data::Dumper::Indent=1;
:set shiftwidth=2 :set foldcolumn=8 (not important) :set foldmethod=indent :1,$foldopen! (to open all folds)

for 635441...

use Tk::FileSelect; use Data::Dumper; use strict; use warnings; my $mw = new MainWindow; my $fs = $mw->FileSelect( -directory => '.' ); $fs->configure(-verify => ['-d'] ); print "$_: ",$fs->Subwidget($_),"\n" for 'dir_entry', # LabEntry 'file_entry', # LabEntry 'dir_list', # ScrlListbox 'file_list', # ScrlListbox 'dialog' # Dialog ; my %ch; $ch{$_} = $_ for $fs->children; delete $ch{$_} for $fs->Subwidget; my( $fr ) = @ch{ grep /Frame/, keys %ch }; my $b = $fr->Button( -text => "New Dir", -command => \&new_dir, ); $b->pack( -side => 'top', -fill => 'x', -expand => 1, ); my $file = $fs->Show; die "> $file\n"; sub new_dir { $fs->Subwidget('dir_entry')->validate; # note that this is the current "accepted" directory name from the # dir entry. It may not be the name of an existing directory! # but it will NOT have a trailing /* even if displayed. # it's possible to wangle the direntry into a state where it # has two slashes before the * and/or letters between # the / and * for example: /x//* /x/y* /x//y* # In all cases, the slash (both slashes, if present) up # through the star are excluded from the value of -directory. my $dir = $fs->cget('-directory'); print "Make a new dir under $dir !\n"; my $new_dirname = Prompt("Enter new folder name:"); # wave hands my $new_dir = "$dir/$new_dirname"; mkdir $new_dir; $fs->Accept_dir($new_dir); }

Mysterious Posts





Wall of Shame: Plagiarists In Residence

The sad, unfortunate fact is that not all of the registered users of this site are playing with a full deck, scruples-wise. In particular, two monks — jesuashok and madtoperl — have routinely posted material by other authors stolen from other sites; in each case, proper attribution of authorship was studiously avoided; and in many cases the plagiarist explicitly claimed the work was original.

I'm not trying to single out these folks. They are simply a couple known, currently active plagiarists. If you discover any other recent or new plagiarisms, please notify me, liverpole, planetscape, chargrill, or shmem (the Plagiarism Posse).

Keep in mind that usernames are not important; people can always create new user accounts to hide behind. Rather, we want to educate any offenders — the people behind the usernames — that plagiarism is not cool and not acceptable.

Advice to moderators:

  • Do not approve posts which are known to be plagiarisms. In the case of posts by known habitual plagiarists such as madtoperl and jesuashok, err on the side of caution. Don't approve until the question has been settled. At this point, we have little reason to believe that jesuashok knows anything about how to program in perl, nor that madtoperl could write an original poem. For example.
  • If possible, unapprove any plagiaristic posts which have already been approved.

Advice to monks:

  • Down-vote plagiaristic posts. It's a shame that these liars have gotten beaucoups XP for posts that they did not put any original work into, nor (in the case of perl code) even understand.

Relevant PMD: How should Perlmonks deal with Plagiarism?

root posts by jesuashok:

Seekers of Perl Wisdom:

post Plagiarized from
strange behaviour when forking lots of times p5p
Re: "close" failing perldoc:close
remotemachine accessing: did not get any values when I use Win32::NetResource
installing perl modules from cmd prompt in windows
copying file using Net::SCP module
perl's command line snippet which I read from a perl article ( perl tutrous )
what is the difference between index and rindex
slow regular expressions
Module to read outlook.ost and archive.pst files
Automate the Testing using perl with the given third party softwares.
Quote on Perl modules
find the shell inside a perl script
(OT) Perl command line interpolation
search position is getting reset after 'local' perl and p5p
write() removes trailing spaces p5p
close ARGV inside a while
delete hash element while traversing via values coredumped
Carp can't deal with UNIVERSAL::AUTOLOAD
Increment avoids warning unexpectedly
Data::Dumper issue p5p
Left shift operation done more than 32 times
Perl Exercises
strange behaviour when forking lots of times
The value of pattern match variable $&
Why chomp() is not considering carriage-return
moving the filehandle to anyline of a file
Not able Create Backup file when using INPLACE_EDIT ( $^I )
Round time to nearest 15 or 30 minutes
Populating and accessing complicate Hashes
s/PATTERN/func()/em leaks /m into func() P5P
'my' with 'if 0' retains old value p5p
"map" sometimes uses only the last mapped value rt.perl
getting Date calculation in simpler way
undefing *foo{CODE} does not fully work p5p
Help need in Miscellaneous code clp
readdir() only returns one result when used with p5p
Bad return value from a block with variable localization p5p
Core dump when runing "make test" or "perl" rt.perl
Always Looping
taint mode perplexities tek-tips
Could anyone explain the following Class::MethodMaker Code ?
Reading contents of file using regex perl.beginners
Interesting line which I read from Monk's snippets
Function 'system' nasty behaviour in Cygwin Perl/Tk
how to merge Hash
Passing Dynamic Value to Test::More tests
comparison between system operators and Built in function
what is the function should I need to use for trim white spaces ?
how to add more intelligence to grep functionality
Perl interpretation of weird #! line
Find Empty directories and removing it
Sorting The Date format Values without using any perl modules.
Sorting an array on two computed fields
Understandig on Creating Empty array reference
Simplifying for loop and applying multiple push function
Using the perl modules depends upon the availability of another module.
Script to input IP Address and Subnet Bits (
Strict to references of a particular Variable of particular type.
HTML Table border Issue while created using HTML Template
TMPL_LOOP inside another TMPL_LOOP with HTML::Template
Getting Keys of Hash from Values
Why the print is not working
getting more resource from perl
perl's sleep function
Curious to know the internals of the following code
Finding Hard links
finding Un-Initialised variables from the perl code
need regular expression
Unicode in Perl
Perl packages to convert hash refs to array refs and vice-versa?
Fastest way to get input from a filehandle
Explain comments in qw// quoted data
multiple modules
Arrays and Hashes Mapping

Perl Poetry:

post Plagiarized from
B_egi_N oF Wzdm
If my boss .....
Propose to a Girl web
Prayer for new joinees in perl monks
I love perl
Some relevant discussion followed 571926, including accusations of plagiarism, followed by protestations of innocence.

plagiarisms by madtoperl:

post Plagiarized from
Size varies using TK in different versions?
why Crashing windows API using perl??perl.beginners
My Friend and Mine!Sharon Hopkins (quoted in a reply)
Reaped: order a machine to have sex, love and death?Sharon Hopkins (quoted in a reply)
Options in Life!Spidering Hacks
The day it was dark!!!Peter Eckenrod
Student in Home!!!Yanick

Responses to questions in the Chatterbox

for atcroft:

package SNMPfu; # pass an object which is either a Net::SNMP object # (as returned by Net::SNMP->session) or an SNMP::Session # object (as in the SNMP module/dist). sub wrap { my $obj = shift; bless $obj, __PACKAGE__ . '::' . ref $obj; # rebless } package SNMPfu::Net::SNMP; # wrapper for Net::SNMP use base 'Net::SNMP'; sub get # wraps Net::SNMP::get_request { my( $self, $var_id ) = @_; my $r = $self->get_request( -varbindlist => [$var_id] ); defined $r or die $self->error; $r->{$var_id} } package SNMPfu::SNMP::Session; # wrapper for SNMP::Session use base 'SNMP::Session'; sub get # wraps SNMP::Session::get { my( $self, $var_id ) = @_; $self->get($var_id) # but I'm not sure this correct. Illustration +only. } 1;
In user code:
my $sess = Net::SNMP->session( ... ); # or: my $sess = SNMP::Session->new( ... ); SNMPfu::wrap( $sess ); my $val = $sess->get('sysDescr.0');
By reblessing, we divert all method calls on the object into one of the wrapper classes we've written. By making those wrapper classes inherit from the original class of the object, the user can call "native" methods of the object if she chooses. If we wish to disallow that, just take out the 'use base' lines.

For Intrepid:

my $sh = new Win32::OLE 'Shell.Application' or die; my $folder = $sh->NameSpace( $directory_path ) or die; my $item = $folder->ParseName( $unqualified_filename ) or die; $item->InvokeVerb('Edit');

Determine CD-ROMs, for TheMadHatter:

Put the following code in a file named cdrom_drives.js
Execute it with the command
    cscript /nologo cdrom_drives.js  
/* * cdrom_drives.js * by jdporter */ var sh = WScript.CreateObject('Shell.Application'); var a = new Array(); var i; for ( i = 65; i < 75; i++ ) { // test the first 10 drive letters var p = String.fromCharCode(i,58,92); // letter + colon + backslas +h try { var fi = sh.NameSpace(p).Self; // will throw if bad path if ( fi.IsFileSystem && fi.Type == 'Compact Disc' ) a.push(p); } catch(e) { } } WScript.Echo(a.join("\n"));

Odds and Ends

From tachyon:

Open Source Content Management

Jeff Erickson's CS 373: Combinatorial Algorithms

Get the total reputation of all your nodes.

use LWP::Simple; use XML::Simple; use strict; my( $username, $password ); print "Username: "; chomp( $username = <> ); print "Password: "; chomp( $password = <> ); $username && $password or die "Abort.\n"; my $t = XMLin get ";op=login;user=$ +username;passwd=$password;ticker=yes"; my $total; my $n; while ( my( $id, $hr ) = each %{ $t->{'NODE'} } ) { $total += $hr->{'reputation'}; $n++; } print "$total rep in $n nodes\n";

Get a list of "other users" currently active in the Monastery, and their XP

use LWP::Simple; use strict; *a = \""; printf qq m%2d %7d %s\nm,m leve.="(\d+)"l,m exp="(\d+)"e,m foruser="([^"]+)"ffor map get qq m$a=16046;for_userid=$_m,map m user_id="(\d+)"ug,get qq m$a=15851m;

What's with all the "buddha" usernames?

Wacky. And then there's

HTML for a form with which someone (such as yourself) can send you a msg

This snippet can be put anyplace on PerlMonks where HTML forms are allowed, including your homenode or in your Free Nodelet.

You must replace "jdporter" with your username, and 170442 with your user id (which is your homenode's node_id).

<form method="post" action="?" enctype="application/x-www-form-urlenco +ded"> <input type="hidden" name="node_id" value="170442"> <input type="hidden" name="op" value="message"> <input type="hidden" name="replyto" value="user"> <input type="hidden" name="sendto" value="jdporter"> <input type="text" name="replytotext" size=60 maxlength=255> <input type="hidden" name="sexisgood" value="submit"> </form>

Business Process Execution Language

Business Process Modeling Notation

How to using folds in Vim to browse Data::Dumper output

    $Data::Dumper::Indent=1 is a prerequisite.
  1. :set shiftwidth=2
  2. :set foldcolumn=8 (actual value not critical)
  3. :set foldmethod=indent
  4. :1,$foldopen! to open all folds, since they're initially closed.

One of the patterns I see frequently goes like this:

  • you say something that strongly and clearly implies X;
  • other monk disagrees with you about X;
  • you claim you never said X.
It's weasely, and intellectually dishonest. I don't care so much that you do that (you and I are strangers, after all), but I do care about the fact that it invariably and unnecessarily raises the noise level here by a significant amount. Sometimes I think you do it just for the joy of the fray.

Now, of course, you may -- and I fully expect you to -- say I'm mistaken about any or all of the above. But you have to ask yourself: Why do people so routinely misunderstand me? If you truly believe people aren't understanding your true opinion on something, I'd suggest (1) stating clearly and unambiguously -- and that means (among other things) without sarcasm, since that is so easily missed in this medium; and (2) maintaining your position with as much consistency as possible.

Below is the list of node links collected by clicking "Add to public pad" in my Personal Nodelet:

Help for User Settings
For Beginners: Basic Information Resources (or, Where to Look Things Up)
On finding the Perl Wisdom
Nodelet types, uses, and (relative) usefulness
Welcome to the Monastery! Make yourself at home.
Spirit of the Monastery
Being a monk: why you'll love it, why you'll hate it
Site Comments.
PerlMonks for the Absolute Beginner
Forum or Knowledge-Base ?
A reflection or two on PM life
Perl $^O values for various operating systems
The Threading Dilemma
Are "PM Discussions" only to be technical?
About Perlmonks: How would you describe PM?
Why does PerlMonks work?
Where and how to start learning Perl
fast, flexible, stable sort
Keyword Nodelet / Tagging documentation
Re: Humorous Module Ideas
Real DJs Code Live (from Wired)
PerlMonks as Ambassadors
The next step
How to get the most of your question from the monks
Help for new monks
New Monks
New Monks Info Page
add entries to vroom's book list
Re: Rethrowing with die $@ considered harmful (local $_ buggy)
Re: Name Space
Pumpkins are best used for...
Re^2: Unused accounts zombified
Re: How can I create an UTF8 encoded txt file contains strings like "aaaa"?
Conversion from UTF-8 to windows-1256 encoding
Re: Restrictions of the Anonymous Monk
Free Nodelet Settings
Making Perl Monks a better place for newbies (and others)
ignored users

Wow, stuff got inserted above, not below!

jdporter's treehouse
by jdporter (Canon) on Jul 20, 2005 at 22:01 UTC

      Here's an HTML form:

      <form> <textarea>Enter info here</textarea> </form>

      Can you interact with this?

        No, you cannot. Please move it somewhere else. ;-)


      Please do not vote or reply. If you have a comment on this, please /msg me. TIA!

      Snippets of CB Conversations

      2005-05-25 11:45:53planetscape:the objective is to find a word I have heard but can't spell
      2005-05-25 11:48:02Roy Johnson:You can always run it by us and see if it rings any bells.
      2005-05-25 11:48:29Roy Johnson:We're a highly advanced neural net with phonetic training.
      2005-05-25 11:48:57Roy Johnson:We even pass the Turing test.

      2005-08-08 17:07:23jdporter:Globs are funny. So are filehandles.
      2005-08-08 17:07:54Intrepid:s/funny/magical/ ;-)
      2005-08-08 17:08:57jdporter:Just like mushrooms, either word applies.
      2005-08-08 17:09:24jdportersmokes a filehandle and drops another glob.

      2005-10-03 11:20:21digiryde:I started looking for ways to seemlessly wrap http I/O this weekend.
      2005-10-03 11:23:27digiryde:I want to understand POE better.
      2005-10-03 11:24:55tye:I hear he always used /usr/bin/less
      2005-10-03 11:26:33jZed:I thought he used /usr/bin/never/more

      2005-10-18 11:05:56wfsp:I put a cd in when there already was one in there. Made a horrible noise.
      2005-10-18 11:07:44bart:It's called "music", wfsp.

      2005-10-19 12:51:04BerntB:(-: I smelled a music flame war and since noone else started it, I had to :-)
      2005-10-19 12:52:20NodeReaper has swallowed BerntB. BerntB was tasty!
      2005-10-19 12:52:41dwildesnl:burn, BerntB, burn!
      2005-10-19 12:55:58BerntB:Hmm.. "bite me" has double meanings in CB?
      2005-10-19 12:56:39dwildesnl:everything does, BerntB :)

      2005-11-17 15:53:01theorbtwo: If you don't agree with the decisions of the power users, bring it up with the gods. If you don't like the decisions of the gods, bring it up with vroom. If you don't like the decisions of vroom, feel free to leave.

      2005-11-22 12:13:03Spidy:Woah, creepy. diotalevi isn't here!
      2005-11-22 12:13:39diotalevi sneaks up behind Spidy, very, very, quietly.
      2005-11-22 12:15:08NodeReaper sneaks up behind diotalevi, very, very, quietly.
      2005-11-22 12:16:12diotalevi pirouettes and asks da grim one for a fling on the dance floor.
      2005-11-22 12:19:52NodeReaper:Shall I lead or would like to my dear diotalevi?
      2005-11-22 12:20:52NodeReaper grins and shows lots of teeth
      2005-11-22 12:21:32diotalevi demurrs. Take me for a spin and lets see what you're made of.
      2005-11-22 12:21:24planetscape .oO( is NodeReaper wearing his negligee? )
      2005-11-22 12:23:22NodeReaper:No, I borrowed the vote-fairy's tutu.
      2005-11-22 12:25:12planetscape:you look quite fetching, NodeReaper
      2005-11-22 12:26:04tye:yeah, bones look that way, planetscape... to dogs

      2006-01-17 22:27:51DigitalKitty:I'm frequently surprised by how often various monks appear within the realm of my dreams. Spending so much time in the cb must have that effect. <hehe>
      2006-01-17 22:29:42DigitalKitty:Only once or twice have I been truly surprised to meet another monk (diotalevi). The other encounters were almost as if we had been classmates / friends for years.
      2006-01-17 dream about PM?
      2006-01-17 22:32:48DigitalKitty:Music is a common facet. Watching and listening to jdporter stand with his feet close together, hands clasped behind his back while crooning an an operatic brit-pop fashion. Nice.
      2006-01-17 22:33:35jdporter coughs
      2006-01-17 22:34:23jdporter has a way of emerging from the shadows at just the right moment
      2006-01-17 22:34:49DigitalKitty grins at jdporter.
      2006-01-17 22:36:46DigitalKitty:I think the first time I had a dream about a monk was when jdporter was singing (see above for details) and I was buying an ice tea at someplace like Starbucks. It was around noon but they had a spotlight set-up and I thought that was unusual.
      2006-01-17 22:39:24DigitalKitty:I remember leaning on the counter, sipping tea, and thinking: I'm going to surprise him when he finishes that song. He was crooning: And SOOOO Sally can wait..she knows its late as we're walkin' on by...
      2006-01-17 23:25:27DigitalKitty:VZN eq 'Verizon'? (Scene) {boss} Dammit Porter! Where are our trucks at this moment? That shipment cannot be late. (jdporter) {reaches across desk and taps three keys} Relax Marvin, I've written a mod_perl program that uses Google maps and real-time GPS processing to show exactly where each of them are located. The exact coordinates are even updated graphically every 5 seconds.

      2006-03-07 15:43:29jeffa takes his new laptop for a spin
      2006-03-07 15:44:15sporty:jeffa: just don't sit on it first
      2006-03-07 15:45:37jeffa revs the engine
      2006-03-07 15:46:09jeffa:now for the stress test: does it recover well when dropped 17 stories onto Times Square
      2006-03-07 15:47:49jeffa:stress test passed -- but i killed a street mime
      2006-03-07 15:48:11rhesa:those will grow back, jeffa
      2006-03-07 15:48:21sporty:jeffa, we have no mimes in nyc
      2006-03-07 15:48:23ww:nah, he's just playing dead.
      2006-03-07 15:48:25rhesa:jeffa, sorry :)
      2006-03-07 15:48:48virtualsue:jeffa: that's almost a mitzvah

      2006-03-09 16:13:34DigitalKitty:jdporter I need to scale back the caffeine consumption (Dream) Dark 'n stormy night. Full moon. Isolated mansion on a hill. You were wearing a tuxedo and tails with a top hat and sitting at a HUGE organ playing 'House of the Rising Sun' by...
      2006-03-09 16:14:49jdporter:I'm telling you, Anna Beth, that was no dream. Your powers of clairvoyance are phenomenal.
      2006-03-09 16:15:41DigitalKitty:...Eric Burdon (of the Animals) and singing just like the CD. I was riding around on these winding dusty roads near the mansion in a long black car (passenger) with a mysterious driver. After multiple (unnecessary) turns, we pulled into the circular...
      2006-03-09 16:15:49jdporter:Did you notice the part where I threw in a little flourish of Cream's Sunshine Of Your Love?
      2006-03-09 16:18:52DigitalKitty:...driveway and pushed open the heavy oak doors. The sound was extremely loud and almost operatic. The tuned pipes were resembled immense spires and I was intrigued by your gaunt appearance (very Halloween-esque).
      2006-03-09 16:20:29jdporter does a silent dance of taunting.
      2006-03-09 16:21:19DigitalKitty:jdporter++ .oO( That man is an artist).

      2006-03-30 15:34:55diotalevi:That's funny you should mention the arrow of time earlier, Corion, since Data::Postponed is about reversing that. ]:-}
      2006-03-30 15:35:38diotalevi:Kinda/sorta.
      2006-03-30 15:36:00Corion:diotalevi: You're aware that while ( 0 <-- $time ) { also is valid code and reverses the flow of time? ;-)
      2006-03-30 15:37:00kutsu:so Data::Postponed is the beta version of a time machine?!
      2006-03-30 15:37:46Corion:kutsu: So far, it only works in the forward direction. :)
      2006-03-30 15:39:26kutsu:could it make an hour take a minute so I only had to work a 10-minute day? :)
      2006-03-30 15:39:59Corion:kutsu: Sure, but the seconds will feel slightly longer ;)

      2006-10-09 09:12:57virtualsue:I'm so happy advocate's bf is here. She sprained her ankle last night and he gets to take her to the dr
      2006-10-09 09:17:06virtualsue:she did it playing badminton (again)
      2006-10-09 09:18:23blue_cowdawg: wasn't aware that badminton was a full contact sport.
      2006-10-09 09:20:09virtualsue:it is the way these guys play it
      2006-10-09 09:20:57Corion:blue_cowdawg: Why do you think they found it necessary to put a net between the parties? ;-))
      2006-10-09 09:26:07kutsu: remembers his friends making flash light tag a contact sport
      2006-10-09 09:31:42Corion:You used the Maglite Police Brutality flash lights? ;)

      [marto] : I write software for the Nuclear and banking industries at the moment.
      [clinton] : nuclear and banking - interesting combination
      rhesa hopes marto never confuses interest rates and decay rates
      [imp] : atomic transactions++

      [ jdporter ] : for P anti-D3-branes the probe approximation is not good, there is a competing effect which can overcome the desire of the anti-D3s to embiggen: their attraction towards the wrapped D5s. Hence, the non-supersymmetric states would naively be meta-stable.
      [ dewey ] : boy did I ever come into this conversation at the wrong time...

      [ thezip ] : thezip moondances
      [ injunjoel ] : injunjoel hands thezip a belt and tells him to pull his pants up.
      [ thezip ] : thezip points out that it is quite impossible for his trousers to be down, since he is holding his crotch already
      [ injunjoel ] : injunjoel points out to thezip that holding ones crotch does not imply that ones pants are up... the possibilities are left as an exercise for the reader :)

      [ SFLEX ] : what should a perl programers resume look like?
      [ Petruchio ] : Like line noise, of course.

      [props]: castaway is a bot ?
      [tye]: s/is a/has a/; inheritance--

      planetscape coils into a ball and goes to sleep
      tye . o O ( dragonball zzzzz ? )

      [Corion]: Corion rejoices. My new phone has arrived :) Except that it has a singapore power adapter ...
      [Anno]: that'll be some extension cord

      [Unforgiven]: alarm(0);
      [tye]: Unforgiven has an additive identity crisis?

      [Nalababu]: how do I compare one column of array to another and print those values that match?
      [jkva]: We use 2 people. If we go down into a cellar we have a third person 'feed' it.

      This was a case of a hilarious juxtaposition arising from the collision of two independent simultaneous conversations.

      [castle]: I am a new user ... and I've posted a perl doubt
      [planetscape]: oh no, a doubt!?
      [planetscape]: despite this being a Monastery, we do not actually deal in matters of faith, castle. Questions, OTOH...

      [ambrus] shakes fist towards computer
      [tye]: just roll the dice

      Voronich feels oddly soiled, having just typed man touch at a prompt.

      [Voronich] has decided that his next lathe project is chopsticks.
      [marto]: you're going to play a piano with a lathe?
      [Voronich]: it's either that or a tesla coil,
      [jdporter]: you're going to play a piano with a tesla coil?

      [clinton] apologises to all and sundry for his base humour
      [Corion]: clinton: You should know that the humor here is purported to be more acidic, so pouring base humor here makes for an explosive mix ;)
      [clinton] bubbles over

      [moritz]-> lunch
      [LanX] prefers lanx <- lunch

      [moritz]: if you need to hide some code to keep it "secure", you have a problem anyway
      [theorbtwo]: moritz, yes, and we do have a problem anyway.

      perl.j: How was PerlMonks made.
      Your Mother: perl.j: In six days. The details are fuzzy to this day.
      perl.j: Is there a node with some kind of answer?
      runrig: Many nodes have some kind of answer
      Your Mother: tye is the node with the answer but sadly there is no standard interface.

      Xiong: Laugh if you like. My tool is firming up. I feel ready to prematurely release.

      thezip: So why do they call it the "God" particle?
      thezip: Is that the one that went faster the than speed-of-light a few weeks ago?
      Voronich: nope. That was tomorrow.
Log In?

What's my password?
Create A New User
and the web crawler heard nothing...

How do I use this? | Other CB clients
Other Users?
Others having an uproarious good time at the Monastery: (10)
As of 2016-10-24 13:10 GMT
Find Nodes?
    Voting Booth?
    How many different varieties (color, size, etc) of socks do you have in your sock drawer?

    Results (305 votes). Check out past polls.