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RE: RE: RE: I am a M/F/Other (take two)

by Fastolfe (Vicar)
on Nov 06, 2000 at 20:15 UTC ( #40185=note: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??


in reply to RE: RE: I am a M/F/Other (take two)
in thread I am a M/F/Other (take two)

Perl is definitely a chick language. Why do you think I decided to learn it? Now, browsing the web and finding web sites to talk about a programming language is definitely something women don't tend to do.


Comment on RE: RE: RE: I am a M/F/Other (take two)
RE: RE: RE: RE: I am a M/F/Other (take two)
by AgentM (Curate) on Nov 07, 2000 at 11:19 UTC
    I think that more women would be attracted to Perl if it had more "pink" functions (the name "perl" is certainly a good start). I recommended some changes in perl6 to make perl more "feminine":
    • instead of chomp(), use chew_lightly()
    • chop()=>slice()
    • sort()=>organize()
    • sleep()=>beauty_sleep() with umask()
    • sin()=>naughty()
    • push(),pop()=>slide_on(),etc. (these functions are often misinterpreted by women as come-ons)
    • no=>no (this keyword is often misinterpreted by men)
    • kill()=>sigqueue() (I have POSIX backing on this one!)
    • fork()=>spoon()
    • use=>request_one_nighter
    • truncate()=>spank()
    • split()=>divorce()
    Hopefully, my additions will be considered and incorporated in future releases of perl. I can only see them as beneficial to the Perl experience as a whole.
    AgentM Systems nor Nasca Enterprises nor Bone::Easy nor Macperl is responsible for the comments made by AgentM. Remember, you can build any logical system with NOR.
      Hmm. Gotta take issue with some of these:
      • chomp() => nuzzle()
      • chop() => shop()
      • sort() => neat()
      • use => commit
      • do => makelove
      • import => (no-op, it's the default)
      • bind => ring
      • socket => XXXXXXX # censored...
      • connect => # no change, it perfect
      • truncate() => spring_clean()
      • split() => willbeback()
      • dump() => letsbefriends()
      • pack() => luggage()
      • unpack() => three_days() # oo that one might be bitterness talking.
      • no => NO
      • package() => wrap()
      • require() => longing()
      • length() => XXXXXXXX() # censored...
      • study() => stalk() # it never helps...
      • each() => together()
      • getppid() => rabbittest() #ewww
      • pipe() => thingy()
      • wait() => hurry()
      • return() => comeback()
      • formline() => slimming()

      Other notes: If getpeername returns "bitch", accept() and listen() will both fail. Also, log() and sin() can't be used together. our() and my() both mean my().

      The "Threads" keyword for commit has been changed to "Outfits". lock() becomes snap() when perl is compiled for "Outfits".

      If I'm going to hell for this, at least I'm in good company.

      --
      $you = new YOU;
      honk() if $you->love(perl)

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