That said, this function, in its original form, is completely useless, because it is executing a SELECT request from a locally scoped statement handler, and its result would be simply lost.
Oh, there's more fun than that, my friend! There are some databases where you can set up a view in such a way that a SELECT against it actually makes changes to stuff. In Oracle 9, you can actually have it do literally anything, including executing Perl code.
Being right, does not endow the right to be rude; politeness costs nothing.
Being unknowing, is not the same as being stupid.
Expressing a contrary opinion, whether to the individual or the group, is more often a sign of deeper thought than of cantankerous belligerence.
Do not mistake your goals as the only goals; your opinion as the only opinion; your confidence as correctness. Saying you know better is not the same as explaining you know better.