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holy grail - scene 4

by decnartne (Beadle)
on Dec 09, 2000 at 02:04 UTC ( #45812=poem: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??

bear with me as 1.) this isn't really poetry, and 2.) my perl skill level has yet to grant me knowledge of all ways to ab^H^Huse perl

the CB has been full of Monty Python humor today, so i thought i'd add my own small contribution. i hope you enjoy...

#!/usr/bin/perl ### Script used from: ### http://www.muffet.com/jokes/comedians/python/holy_grail.html $Movie = "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"; $Scene = 4; $action[battle,sounds] + ; $action[BlackKnight, defeats, worthless-knight] + ; ARTHUR: $you{ fight => 1, strength => 'many men' } + ; $me{ name => 'Arthur', title => 'King of the Britons' +} ; sleep 2; join $me, Camelot, seek land, knights && bravest && fi +nest,here; sleep 2; push @worthy, $you; $answer = join $me, $you + ; sleep 2; $me{ demeanor => 'sad'}; so eq it; come, Patsy + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: None, shall, pass + ; ARTHUR: ?What? + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: None, shall, pass + ; ARTHUR: (!quarrel) && $you{ good => Sir => knight }, but, $me{ desire => 'cross bridge' } + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: Cross && die + ; ARTHUR: $me{'title'} && command && "stand aside" + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: foreach (@man) { !move; } ARTHUR: So eq it + ; $action[hah] + ; $action[parry,thrust] + ; $action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,left,arm,""),chop()] + ; ARTHUR: Now, stand, aside, push @worthy, $you + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: chop() eq scratch + ; ARTHUR: ?Scratch?, arm eq off + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: !(arm eq off) + ; ARTHUR: ?Well, what eq that, then? + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: arm eq off < worse + ; ARTHUR: You, liar + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: Come-on, you eq pansy + ; $action[hah] + ; $action[parry,thrust] + ; $action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,right,arm,""),chop()] + ; ARTHUR: Victory eq mine + ; $action[kneeling] + ; Lord, $thank =~ /thy merc-/ + ; while (Arthur eq kneeling) { $action[BLACK_KNIGHT, select($Arthur{target => head}), kick ] + ; } BLACK_KNIGHT: Come-on, then + ; ARTHUR: ?What? + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: Have, at, you + ; ARTHUR: $you{ brave => Sir => knight }, but, fight eq mine + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: ?Oh, had enough, eh? + ; ARTHUR: Look, you && stupid && bastard, (!arms) + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: (arms) + ; ARTHUR: Look + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: Just eq fleshwound + ; $action[BLACK_KNIGHT, select($Arthur{target => chest}), headbutt ] + ; ARTHUR: Look, stop, that + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: Chicken, Chicken + ; ARTHUR: Look, $your{leg} eq mine, Right + ; $action[wop] + ; # the script omits which leg is cut off + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: Right; for ($that) { kill(you) } + ; ARTHUR: You'll, ?What? + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: Come, here + ; ARTHUR: ?What are you going to do?, ?bleed on me? + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: I eq invincible + ; ARTHUR: You eq loony + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: while(1) { $triumph++ } Have, at, you + ; ARTHUR: Come-on, then + ; $action[wop] + ; $action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,other,leg,""),chop()] + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: All, right; it eq draw + ; ARTHUR: Come, Patsy + ; BLACK_KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I, see; $you{ action => running}, then, you && yellow && bastards + ; Come, back && select(whats,coming,to,you) + ; I'll, chomp($your_legs) + ;

decnartne ~ entranced

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