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Re^5: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity

by woolfy (Hermit)
on Aug 23, 2006 at 19:47 UTC ( #569195=note: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??


in reply to Re^4: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity
in thread Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity

You forgot one possible response:
- Hey come on, I was just teasing, and if you feel offended, it's mostly your own problem. Grow up and find out why you are offended.

I've got no problem saying sorry if the person I offended is really shocked, nearly in tears, but I'd just say sorry about them feeling so rotten, but not sorry about what I said. I've been insulted often enough (I'm a female of 6'6", I'm quite a bit overweight, I used to stutter, and I got several other flaws) and I've grown a rather thick skin. I can handle those insults. I've read a lot about insults and worse done to christians and as history shows, christians have taken a lot of insults and handled them quite well.

The OP was just teasing. The insulted guy has to grow a thicker skin.

Wendy

Update: Really, some christians need a thicker skin. I really am sorry that so many people seem to be so immature. Why do you believe in christ? Is your believe really so easy shocked, is it such a feeble believe? When a non-believer criticizes your believe, just shrug and go on with your life. Even when a non-believer like me is vague or self-righteous. You know better, don't you? Do you? Really? So, just ignore me, and ignore the other non-believers. Or show your own wit, your own sense of humour. Most non-believers have a thick skin.


Comment on Re^5: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity
Re^6: Jokes, ad-hominem attacks, and sensitivity-- Now definitely OT
by rodion (Chaplain) on Aug 24, 2006 at 15:20 UTC
    Update:The original post in the text below the line was grossly insensitive and condescending on my part and I'm sorry I wrote it, but I did write it and it stands intact as a testimony to my stupidity, as well as an object refered to by some clear and concise comments from BroserUK in posts below it.
    Double plus (really, that's my vote) for coming up with another version of the generic
    I'm sorry you're offended
    Judith Martin classes these as non-apology apologies. These statements add a second insult in the form of an apology, in this case it's basically "I'm sorry you're so immature."

    In practice, these replies are a bad move, leading to further miscommunication. The insultee feels further insulted (quite reasonably), and the insultor thinks "What's the matter with him? I apologized, didn't I.", and leaves with either a vague uneasiness, or a naive self-righteousness.

    Of such things are family splits and community divisions made.

      I find this post extremely offensive.


      Examine what is said, not who speaks -- Silence betokens consent -- Love the truth but pardon error.
      Lingua non convalesco, consenesco et abolesco. -- Rule 1 has a caveat! -- Who broke the cabal?
      "Science is about questioning the status quo. Questioning authority".
      In the absence of evidence, opinion is indistinguishable from prejudice.
        I am sincerely very sorry, and embarrassed, to have caused offense here. I clearly messed up big time, talking about courtesy, but actually offending further myself.

        I very much appreciate your letting me know, as I did not realize it myself.

        Addendum: Having had a few hours to think, I can see that I was, at the least, grossly insensitive, flip, condescending, and too wrapped up in my own thoughts to see it. There's more than that, but for now I'm still too dense to see it clearly enough to address it here.

        Perl Monks deserves better from me, and I will try to provide it. This thread is probably too deep for anyone to read or care, let alone to later remember and feel a helpful urge towards me, but if anyone does remember and sees me heading in this dirction again, please, please let me know. I now have a week long trip, away from the internet, and this has given me something to ponder on it, and hopefully it will do some good.

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