in reply to
classical one was:
Classical ones are on the Quine page (which is apparently not maintained anymore).
The shortest non-empty non-cheating one I know is (ends with two newlines)
Another that uses perl's various quoting operators to avoid having to escape stuff dynamically is (no newline)
Update: see Short quines.
Non-existent; I don't have TV
Non-existent; my TV doesn't have/need a remote
Under my control; I watch alone
Under the control of whoever shouts loudest
Under the control of whoever gets it first
One of many, and the TV has a mind of its own
Results (476 votes),