in reply to Please remember that geeks have their own social mores.
I understand what you are saying, but I think you get it wrong. Geeks are just like everyone else. They may be smarter with logic and puzzles and technology, but that's only one dimension of a person. I don't buy the automatic assumption that geeks are better people, or that a standard disclaimer should be applied. I've met plenty of geeks who have great social skills, and I've met plenty of cretins who aren't geeks.
- Geeks have an in-crowd. They select on different factors than cheerleaders, hipsters, or jocks, but there is definitely an in crowd. There are even in-crowds among in-crowds, each trying to destroy the other (think Rails people versus Perl people, for instance).
- Maybe the whole world doesn't want to be geeks, but geeks certainly know who they think is cool and make fun of people they think are uncool. That's not different from any other group.
- Most people lack social graces. The difference is other people's tolerance to lacking social graces. Geeks don't care that they lack social graces, so people are less tolerant about geeks not having them. It's usually not how you mess up, but your attitude toward it.
- Some OSS developers are in it for the fame. People are people, and OSS developers just like everyone else have different motivations and desires. I don't think OSS automatically makes anyone noble or selfless.
- As people, geeks are just as guilty about everything they complain about from other people. Sure, the manager probably doesn't understand technology, but geeks probably don't understand the manager's world of legal compliance and marketing. Both groups tend to treat the other poorly, and for the same basic reasons.
People are people. Evaluate individuals, not groups. :)