It sounds like you'd be a great boss. Where do I apply?
in reply to Certifications are dumb.
I mentioned my feelings on this topic just a couple of minutes ago over at Re: Certification In PERL.
If someone is clueless about the work and also clueless about how to assess readiness for the work, then a bare minimum paper certificate from a reputable certifying body can make sense. Unfortunately, that's not where most tech certificates come from.
Novell, Cisco, Sun, and perhaps even Microsoft and CompTIA certifications can mean something. What they mean is minimal, though, and their meaning is often blown out of proportion. Dell and HP's hardware technician certs require familiarity with their lines, but not having them doesn't mean one is not a great hardware technician. The Perl certifications available don't even come to these standards, and therefore mean even less.