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I would love a Perl API to control...

by VSarkiss (Monsignor)
on Nov 01, 2008 at 12:42 UTC ( #720842=poll: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??

vote on I would love a Perl API to control...

My PS2/Gamecube/Xbox/etc
[bar] 32/8%
My MP3 player
[bar] 23/6%
Household appliances (washer, dryer, etc)
[bar] 78/20%
My car ($self->park(), anyone?)
[bar] 27/7%
My family and/or relatives
[bar] 36/9%
My boss
[bar] 65/17%
Anything on Gizmodo
[bar] 9/2%
The weather
[bar] 70/18%
Something else
[bar] 52/13%
392 total votes
Comment on I would love a Perl API to control...
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by zentara (Archbishop) on Nov 01, 2008 at 13:10 UTC
      You're outed! Couldn't hack it in basketball, so you're moving sports! Zen-tar-a, Don-a-ghy, both 3 syllables. Clever, but not clever enough... :)
        Pro sports have evolved from sport, to entertainment... so now it is Show-Biz. Someone has to write the scripts, why not me?

        ( BTW, I already control the black helicopters... they are mini-ufos, designed to look like copters, so the dumba*s humans think they are from their own planet) :-)


        I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth Remember How Lucky You Are
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by Anonymous Monk on Nov 01, 2008 at 13:15 UTC
    Ultravibe 3000
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by samwyse (Scribe) on Nov 01, 2008 at 13:38 UTC
    Household appliances. Mostly because I'm sitting here wondering if the washer has buzzed yet, but controlling an espresso maker would also be kewl.
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by Illuminatus (Curate) on Nov 01, 2008 at 15:27 UTC
    Those black helicopters always near my house...
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by marto (Chancellor) on Nov 01, 2008 at 18:41 UTC
    My lazy coworkers.
      I'll second that, but I'm wondering if it wouldn't be more productive to put them in an infinite loop so they don't bother you during the day.


      Revolution. Today, 3 O'Clock. Meet behind the monkey bars.

      I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by swampyankee (Parson) on Nov 01, 2008 at 19:31 UTC

    My car. Da** thing should learn how to come when it's called.


    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting. — emc

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by zwon (Monsignor) on Nov 01, 2008 at 19:52 UTC
    The world
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by McDarren (Abbot) on Nov 01, 2008 at 20:15 UTC
    My wife.
      There's a native API. Use that.
        I've tried, but the interface is too bloody complicated, and gives completely unpredictable results :(
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by shmem (Canon) on Nov 01, 2008 at 23:17 UTC
    ... turbo capitalism.
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by ww (Bishop) on Nov 02, 2008 at 00:24 UTC
    The bank's understanding of the balance in my account!

      From the bank's viewpoint it's easy ;-)

      while(1) { $account_balance-- unless($account_owner eq 'CEO'); }

      Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting. — emc

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by wanna_code_perl (Pilgrim) on Nov 02, 2008 at 00:26 UTC

    I want a Perl API to myself.

    SYNOPSIS

    use Me; my $my = new Me; foreach ($my->friends) { # NOTREACHED } die if ($my->time());

      Would multiple new Me's run in separate threads? It could bring a whole new meaning to zombie processes.


      Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting. — emc

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by smiffy (Pilgrim) on Nov 02, 2008 at 01:09 UTC

    ...the neighbourhood zombies, and create new ones too!

    my $z1=new Zombies::Zombie; $z1->zombify($person); for (my $i=0; $i<10; $i++) { $z1->lurch(50); # move 50 metres my $v=new Zombies::Victim; # Create new victim object $v->locate(); # Find victim $z1->select($v); # Select victim $z1->eat('Braaaaaaaiiiins'); }

    ...etcetera.

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by Hercynium (Hermit) on Nov 02, 2008 at 02:41 UTC
    Sure, you could type out

    $car->park( in => 'garage' )

    But you sound like Yoda! This is Perl! You can (almost) speak English!*

    park $car in => 'garage'

    *Yes, I know the issues with indirect method call syntax... but sometimes it's just more fun! Besides, if I had a car smart enough to park itself, I'd want it to understand spoken commands as well!

      And for those English speakers who don't speak Perl they can always

      "shout"

      park $car in => 'garage'

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by kennethk (Monsignor) on Nov 02, 2008 at 03:58 UTC
    Can you imagine trying to debug a PHB API? Heisenbugs galore.
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by apl (Monsignor) on Nov 02, 2008 at 15:04 UTC
    I have a radio-controlled toy tank I'd *love* to be able to pre-program. There's this cat that keeps lurking in my backyard I'd like to teach a lesson... Failing that, one to control all the clocks in my house.

      I've found that terriers -- except the exceedingly frou-frou Yorkies-- are really quite good at keeping yards free of cats. Border collies, however, will herd them.


      Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting. — emc

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by SilasTheMonk (Chaplain) on Nov 02, 2008 at 21:48 UTC

    The Television

    I would like a way of keeping it turned off that noone else in the family understands. I have in the past considered installing a socket timer but it is too heavy to move and I would be scared of dropping it on my feet.
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by missingthepoint (Friar) on Nov 03, 2008 at 11:17 UTC

    My physiology.

    $heart_rate += 20; # who needs caffeine?

    Indicators of geekdom:
    • You get a kick out of finishing sentences with domain names, because of the syntactic overlap of certain written languages and DNS notation.
    • You understood the previous sentence.
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by Tux (Monsignor) on Nov 03, 2008 at 12:02 UTC
    1. My dreams
    2. My mobile phone

    Enjoy, Have FUN! H.Merijn
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by wolfger (Deacon) on Nov 03, 2008 at 18:19 UTC

    My BlackBerry. Actually, I don't want a Perl API to control the BlackBerry, I just want a Perl interpreter on my BlackBerry. What's this Jave ME junk?

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by johndageek (Hermit) on Nov 03, 2008 at 18:38 UTC
    I want an api to control moods. mine and those around me.

    my $mood = "sh**ty";
    global $MOOD = "sympathetic";

    or

    my $mood = "great!";
    global $spouse_MOOD = bitchSwitch(OFF);

    or

    my $mood = "football";
    global $mood = "sportsmania" | "quietly play in yard";

    of course we would want some security on this system as the deleteAll() could have some less than desirable results.

    Enjoy!
    Dageek

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by pileofrogs (Priest) on Nov 03, 2008 at 22:22 UTC

    My @#$%@#$% cell phone!

    How many times have you had this experience:

    I'm using my cell phone, and I want to do X. I realize that I have to do V and W first, even though there is no technical need to to V and W, so I start thinking about how I would make my phone work right, until I remember I'm thinking about my cell phone and I'm stuck with it.

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by DrHyde (Prior) on Nov 04, 2008 at 11:02 UTC
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by stonecolddevin (Vicar) on Nov 05, 2008 at 09:22 UTC

    everything.

    I'd do anything for a mute button, a pause button, a fast forward, a rewind, a record and delete button

    Not to mention "learn". If I had a remote I could point at say a train and have it "learn" its horn blow, imagine the time I'd save on the freeway...

    :-D

    meh.
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by pfaut (Priest) on Nov 06, 2008 at 16:56 UTC

    The voices in my head.

    90% of every Perl application is already written.
    dragonchild
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by marcussen (Pilgrim) on Nov 07, 2008 at 05:46 UTC

    CowboyNeal

    Confucius says kill mosquito unless cannon
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by gregor42 (Parson) on Nov 07, 2008 at 14:56 UTC
    E V E R Y T H I N G .


    Wait! This isn't a Parachute, this is a Backpack!
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by tweetiepooh (Friar) on Nov 10, 2008 at 15:20 UTC
    Bit dull but Netcool Probes. A consistent and powerful configuration language allowing building of library functions. One especially sought feature would be Perl's regular expressions (PCRE) to extract out portions of text to split into sections quickly and easily.

    If you've ever written Netcool probe rules files you'll know what I mean. If you haven't be glad of your ignorance.

Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by Anonymous Monk on Nov 10, 2008 at 16:08 UTC
    lotto, or a president
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by motzi (Sexton) on Nov 11, 2008 at 01:48 UTC
    haha, nice poll. if rly, i using it for my bluetooth device @ linux
Re: I would love a Perl API to control...
by apl (Monsignor) on Nov 12, 2008 at 19:04 UTC
    Headhunters.

    Or potential employers.

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