Is there PerlMonks merchandise I can buy?

Use subroutines for code reuse
Master regular expressions
Write my GUIs with Perl
Abandon CGI in favor of some modern web framework
Put my code in modules
Create CPAN distributions
test and document my code as I write it
Write OOP with or without animal help
Finally switch to a modern Perl style
Create a killer application with Perl
Detoxify from Perl and PerlMonks
Choose another language because Perl is dead
Learn to program for mobile devices
Complete my secret world domination project
Something else
None, because the road to hell is paved with good intentions