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Re^4: What is "aggressive" argument?

by BrowserUk (Pope)
on Nov 23, 2010 at 03:11 UTC ( #873103=note: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??


in reply to Re^3: What is "aggressive" argument?
in thread What is "aggressive" argument?

Do you mean here at PM? Or that the distinction doesn't (or isn't seen to) exist?


Comment on Re^4: What is "aggressive" argument?
Re^5: What is "aggressive" argument?
by Anonymous Monk on Nov 23, 2010 at 03:46 UTC
    I mean in real life with humans. The humans will always assume you're caling them stupid. If they're relatives they might forgive you, or if they're really really smart they might compose themselves and reason it out after getting angry, but humans will always get angry first.

      That just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying you are wrong, just that it doesn't make sense.

      Is there any human being that hasn't caught their finger in a car door; or picked up a pan that just came out of the oven with their bare hands; or written 10 lines of code only to realise that it could never work; and thought to themselves: "That was a dumb thing to do!".

      Are they accusing themselves of actually being dumb; or just having done something dumb? Sure, there may be a flash of self-anger, but it (should) soon fade to "we all make mistakes".

      All we humans are fallible. For someone to be infallible would be to be inhuman. To think oneself infallible, the greatest form of self-delusion. This place is littered with my D'oh moments. I like to think I own up to them whether I spot them myself, or need someone else to point them out. But I do draw a distinction between doing something that doesn't work; and doing something that does work, but in a way that others do not find to their liking.


      Examine what is said, not who speaks -- Silence betokens consent -- Love the truth but pardon error.
      "Science is about questioning the status quo. Questioning authority".
      In the absence of evidence, opinion is indistinguishable from prejudice.
        That just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying you are wrong, just that it doesn't make sense. ...

        I agree with everything you just said.

        You know how are double negatives are often misused? Its because people don't scrutinize speech that closely.

        When they hear the word stupid, regardless of context, their brain short circuits and they get defensive, and view you as an enemy attacker.

        The first time this realization dawned on me, a friend had stopped talking to me. I couldn't understand why my friend was upset. She is smarter, mastered recursion practically instantly, but had some trouble with a 1040EZ tax form, and then I misspoke. We reconciled, but ever since I try not to use the word stupid.

        Saying oh or d'oh or confusing or turned around , goes over much smoother, appears to be less threatening than the dreaded s-word :) It is certainly more pleasant than having to discuss hurt feelings and apologies, etc...

        Unless they take a class that like public speaking or conflict resolution, and the teacher specifically covers this situation, or they have a personal breakthrough like I, most people don't ever break from this way of thinking.

        I think this is why we develop taboos, and its the basis for propaganda, why people go along with wars.

        Its sad this type of topic isn't regular part of education worldwide (was not part of mine)

        Earlier this year a slashdot thread lead me to some amazing videos on this subject, that confirmed my thoughts on this

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