|Don't ask to ask, just ask|
Re^7: What is "aggressive" argument?by Anonymous Monk
|on Nov 23, 2010 at 09:01 UTC||Need Help??|
That just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying you are wrong, just that it doesn't make sense. ...
I agree with everything you just said.
You know how are double negatives are often misused? Its because people don't scrutinize speech that closely.
When they hear the word stupid, regardless of context, their brain short circuits and they get defensive, and view you as an enemy attacker.
The first time this realization dawned on me, a friend had stopped talking to me. I couldn't understand why my friend was upset. She is smarter, mastered recursion practically instantly, but had some trouble with a 1040EZ tax form, and then I misspoke. We reconciled, but ever since I try not to use the word stupid.
Saying oh or d'oh or confusing or turned around , goes over much smoother, appears to be less threatening than the dreaded s-word :) It is certainly more pleasant than having to discuss hurt feelings and apologies, etc...
Unless they take a class that like public speaking or conflict resolution, and the teacher specifically covers this situation, or they have a personal breakthrough like I, most people don't ever break from this way of thinking.
I think this is why we develop taboos, and its the basis for propaganda, why people go along with wars.
Its sad this type of topic isn't regular part of education worldwide (was not part of mine)
Earlier this year a slashdot thread lead me to some amazing videos on this subject, that confirmed my thoughts on this