Sure... but unless I'm misled, with UDP there simply is no way to know for sure excepting an out of band response—a visit to a tokenized URI sent in a message or a return message from the same domain/address. So no checks will be guaranteed. "Heroic" messages to circumvent misused standards / client-fail seems a mistake.
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Your Mother,
I have no idea where UDP came into the conversation since SMTP is a TCP protocol. I agree that there is no way to be sure unless you can deliver mail to a recipient and get a DSN or, preferred, a response. Seeing if the server is listening on port 25 and is responding in a manner consistent with a SMTP server and not giving a 521 status code is a pretty safe bet though.
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