I shun the currently fashionable, self-centered approach in which what really matters is how I feel.
Are you kidding me? You entire initial spiel seems to have its roots in an emotional state: dissatisfaction. And your dissatisfaction is with what you're doing. You go on to suggest another thing you could do. It is really that hard to perform this alternate activity to see if alleviates your dissatisfaction?
If you truly think that you need to drudge around miserably for some phantasmal greater good, then it sounds like you're in danger of being recruited into a cult.