This is probably much more than you need, but the combinamtion of GLPI
and OCS Inventory NG
(Latter is more relevant to your requirements) will probably do the job, and then some. Both are free. Don't be put-off by the initial French - both sites have little flag icons that shows them in English.
For your purposes, you could probably get by with just OCS, and if the standard plug-in does not provide enough information, you can easily add your own (perl) code.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.