I don't think you need our sympathy--it's those who haven't twigged to the beauty of Perl that need it.
There are any number of good technical counter-arguments for each of the critisisms you listed, many of which can be found in 'cross-language debate' meditations around this place. But the best answer (IMO) is:
Okay. If you like doing things the hard way, I ain't gonna try to stop you.
And leave it there. Don't elaborate.
Examine what is said, not who speaks.
Silence betokens consent.
Love the truth but pardon error.
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