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Stats are already available, they simply aren't shared with me and you, and as a reader I don't need to see stats

As a pmdev I don't think I need to see stats either. The way I see it, stats are only of any use to gods, and well, gods can see them already --

Are some pages slower than the rest of the site?

yup, and tye has commented on this publicly from time to time ( about tweaking database servers , node cache yada yada )

Regarding GA, read more about such tracking ideas in Facebook 'like' button.

In reply to Re^3: Why PM needs web stats by Anonymous Monk
in thread Why PM needs web stats by kimmel

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The best material for plates (tableware) is: