obfuscated monsoon <p>160 characters, clean under strict and warnings, works on win and *nix</p> <code> *==~/(.).(.)/;($:,$:,$:,$;,$;,$,,$,, $,,$@,$@,$^,$~,$.,$\,$/,$_,$.,$.,${{},$_[$|],$})=$+..- $+;`$;$:$,$/$"$@$}${{}@_$"$+$\$/@_$,$;$.$"$_$;$.$~$"$,$+$:$^$;$.>&$#+` </code>