User since: Dec 22, 2002 at 21:16 UTC (21 years ago) Last here: May 10, 2005 at 20:18 UTC (19 years ago) Experience: 429 Level: Monk (7) Writeups: 90 Location: Éire User's localtime: Apr 25, 2024 at 00:49 +01 Scratchpad: None. For this user: Search nodes

My Code of Ethics:

Murphy's Law

ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG WILL GO WRONG.

• Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

• It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

• The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an incoming train.

• Celibacy is not hereditary.

• Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

• Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.

• Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

• A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

• If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.

• Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

• A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

• Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.

• Everyone had a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

• The other line always moves faster.

• Murphy's Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

• The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

• Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

• The repairman will never have seen a model like yours before.

• In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.

• No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

• The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  

MURPHY WAS AN OPTIMIST