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RE: RE: I'd rather be

by kirbyk (Friar)
on Aug 29, 2000 at 03:19 UTC ( [id://30054]=note: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??


in reply to RE: I'd rather be
in thread I'd rather be

Is this really true for most people? I'm aware that I had a less than ideal childhood in many ways, but I remember there was always something stressful when I was a child - there's little doubt in my mind that there was a lot more stress and pressure in my life _before_ I got to college than any time that's come since.

As an adult, I have some power and can actually deal with stress. I can choose to work extra hours to reduce work stress, or the opposite, and the consequences are largely my own doing. If someone is giving me trouble, I can tell them to go away or remove myself from their influence. If work gets too bad I can always quit, if I hate my neighbors I can move. Not that these things are trivial, but as a child, you don't even have options. Hate your teacher? Hate your parents? Tough. Don't like a class? Tough. I think people often glorify childhood and forget how little control you have over your life then.

Which doesn't mean that I don't want to be an adult who spends time at Toys 'R' Us.

-- Kirby

Tuxtops: Laptops with Linux!

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RE (tilly) 3: I'd rather be
by tilly (Archbishop) on Aug 29, 2000 at 04:03 UTC
    Studies of stress and stress related illnesses consistently show that any situation is made much worse by a sense of powerlessness. Indeed despite everything you hear about how stressful management is, janitors suffer more stress-related illnesses.

    One amusing early study on this was involved two rats in two cages. Both were hooked up to a wire which would deliver shocks to both. One had a lever that would turn off the shock, the other had no recourse. Guess which one wound up a nervous wreck? IIRC, when random shocks were delivered, the situation got even worse. Apparently predictable misery (eg Monday) is less stressful than not knowing where and when your next blow is coming from. (An amusing side note. Random reinforcement also turns out to be very effective. Consider this the next time you see a gambler at the slot machines...)

    For what little it is worth, my adult life has been far more enjoyable than my childhood was. Strangely enough being an adult and getting paid for my life-long love of learning is far more enjoyable than getting bullied for the same. Being a 6'3" man is much nicer than being a scrawny kid.

    YMMV. Warranty void where prohibited. Etc.

RE: RE: RE: I'd rather be
by FiReWaLL (Scribe) on Aug 30, 2000 at 22:30 UTC
    Sure, when you'r "big" :) you have more power to decide, but as my mother always said to me: "More power will come with more responsability". Of course it's nice to get a car, and Travel away without ask my parent's first IF I could go and being possible to get a NO as answer. BUT, somehow, you didn't need to worry to pay bills, to look for money, too care if there were enougth food in the house, etc. It's sure less stress (not less worries) I believe that generally speaking, you have the worries you can carry according to your "brain's size" :)

    -------
    []'s
    FiReWaLL
    The only thing you regret in life, is the risk you don't take.

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