|We don't bite newbies here... much|
Life at the Monastery. Chapter 2 and a halfby coreolyn (Parson)
|on Jan 02, 2001 at 03:20 UTC||Need Help??|
This wasn't supposed to get this long... it kinda took off on me.
Coreolyn trudged through the snow and noticed the guard outpost from a safe distance. He crawled past the petitioners at the Gates so as to avoid detection. At the guardpost Kudra shook her head in disbelief, Didn't the fool know that a crawling monk in the snow is pretty easy to spot? She let him pass, "harmless enough" she scoffed.
Coreolyn had been here before on desperate mission's and for stealthy intelligence gathering. He tip toed past the kitchen doorway. AgentM stopped complaining about food preparation and said to Petruchio, "Get a load of that monk." Petruchio shook his head, "A monk on tippy toes, what's next transexual perlbots?".
Quickly Coreolyn tromped down the dark passageway so as to disapear like the wind. Then he hid next to a torch to listen for persuit. Faintly he could overhear Petruchio saying, ".. Not that I've got anything against transexual robots, I remember this one time . . .".
"Damn I'm good", Coreolyn risked whispering aloud just as he realized that his turbin had caught on fire.
Screaming in terror Coreolyn lit off down into the depths of the catacombs. He tried to stop running long enough to decipher the signs that read:
"ATTENTION NEWBIES: You are here. Go the other way",
But his hair was now stinking up the passage way. He ran from the smell as much as the flames.
merlyn Raised an eyebrow... "I hear an incomming newbie". A twisted smile came to his lips as another series of wails came from the outer hallway. "I likes it when they squeal."
Vroom turned and scowled, "It doesn't matter to me what you like, just empty that damn ashtray once an awhile!".
Chromatic Surprised to hear Vroom's displeasure dropped his telekenetic balls. 'Ouch' He grumbled as he went to open the old door for the newbie.
But there was no need to open the door, for just as Chromatic reached for the handle the door broke off it's hinges and with a BANG! a fresh newbie lay at chromatics feet writhing in pain.
Merlyn set off a magical smoke ring to put out the flames.
Vroom motioned for the newbie to arise. Coreolyn stood wiping off the carrot peals that clung to his robe as he assessed his stituation, but he ran out of things to brush off his robe before he could accept his own assessment.
Merlyn prodded the Newbie with with his staff like a skilled horse trader, "Well speak up son we haven't got all day... Wait a minute! I just figured out how to interpolate all the security holes in any given infinate array into one regex! Maybe we do have all day!"
The voice of Tilly rang out from nowhere, "Not THAT old regex again!"
Chromatic quickly changed the conversation while picking up his telekenetic balls. "You here to learn boy?" He questioned the newbie sternly, and with that question he set one ball to 'knuck' the newbie's head.
"No sir" *knuck*
"I'm on a quest"
jcwren tapped Ovid on the shoulder to show how he had captured the entire moment in prime numbered interdimensional 'oil by numbers'. Ovid, who up to this moment had been oblivious to the events around him, burst into boisterous laughter. Pointing with one finger at the image of the monk on fire in the painting, and holding his belly with the other.
"What do you call it?", Ovid said between labored snorted laughter.
jcwren paused with a critical look and said, "I think I'll call it 'The Quest'.
"No Really I AM on a quest!" Coreolyn piped up defiantly. "I have come to learn of the tools, processes and ediquette for writing a 'good' JAPH. I had intended to do this covertly but your phenomenal powers have overwhelmed my deadly skill of stealth."
Tilly's voice wrang out: "Then you should have posted this in SOPW!".
We leave the scene with merlyn Shouting "Hit 'em with your balls again chromatic...."
Hope I haven't taken too many literary liberties
coreolyn -- Just Another Paradoxical Hypocrite
1 -- with humble reguards to wombat for starting this thread and concept