Oh please, let us be like Java, especially J2EE...
- We want to use an IDE all the time with an editor more cumbersome than the one we have invested years learning.
- We have worn out our lexicon and want to coin new terms for all the concepts we learned in school and on the job.
- All this keep it simple is getting on our nerves. Let's embrace complexity for its own sake, until we've reached the point where an IDE is required to work on our code.
- We are tired of posting our code to CPAN and receiving nothing for our trouble. We want to dismantle that and start trying to pedal every module there for cash through our new startups.
- Perl's "Can't locate Module.pm in @INC (@INC contains:...)" is taking all the fun out of module load issues. We want Java's "Class not found," which gives us the joy of hunting without knowing where to look.
- We have got to stop all this cooperation. We must create multiple vendor implementations of mod_perl so we can compete against each other and lock-in our respective customers.
Sorry if none of that helps you defend Perl. But, I think to beat Java we would have to become like it. That reduces to creating job security for huge numbers of people through the development of many almost compatible tools that look impressive in power point presentations made to management.