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Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...

by shmem (Canon)
on Oct 04, 2008 at 15:34 UTC ( #715366=poll: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??

vote on Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...

Significant advances in Physics
[bar] 96/20%
Significant advances in music
[bar] 11/2%
Dented Hadrons (and a large repair bill from the Fix-it shop)
[bar] 87/19%
Micro black holes devouring the Earth
[bar] 45/10%
More exotic variables
[bar] 46/10%
Perl 6
[bar] 170/36%
Other
[bar] 15/3%
470 total votes
Comment on Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by toolic (Chancellor) on Oct 04, 2008 at 16:00 UTC
    A zillion tiny hadrons :)
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by ambrus (Abbot) on Oct 04, 2008 at 16:57 UTC

    Significant advances in technology.

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by swampyankee (Parson) on Oct 04, 2008 at 17:14 UTC

    Significant advances in Physics and significant increase in the production of Ph.D.'s in physics. I don't expect any more black holes, as we have enough in the US, mostly sucking the brains and ability to reason critically out of everybody.


    Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting. — emc

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by shmem (Canon) on Oct 04, 2008 at 17:22 UTC

    ...the collapse of the Standard Model.

    Just wondering... why is it pollsters owns this poll, when I had the idea?

      A consummation devoutly to be wished.

      De Broglie was robbed. :-)

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by Gavin (Canon) on Oct 04, 2008 at 17:41 UTC
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by zentara (Archbishop) on Oct 04, 2008 at 19:09 UTC
    Huge electric bills for someone :-)

    Someone in the Chatterbox posted this live web cam link: LHC webcam

    I'm actually all for this thing, the secrets of the universe is in the infinitely small, not the infinitely big. The scientists like to talk about the Higgs Boson , or something similar, which is needed to explain why we in material form, rather than existing as pure energy. Figuring that out may lead to anti-gravity and other things Star Trek promised us.


    I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth Remember How Lucky You Are

      That boson is appropriately named, from my german point of view: "hicks!" is the hiccup sound for us; and then the fellow being scotch... ;-)

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by Erez (Curate) on Oct 04, 2008 at 21:36 UTC

    Dunno about others, but the idea of a large, phallic object being referred to as the Large Hardon Collider still has me hiding under the blanket, whimping in fear.

    Stop saying 'script'. Stop saying 'line-noise'.
    We have nothing to lose but our metaphors.

      Umh, the isn't the LHC toroidal? I thought that phallic objects generally didn't resemble attenuated doughnoughts.


      Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting. — emc

        No, most of them do. It seems that just the phallic objects that you have encountered don't resemble doughnoughts :P

        I'm so adjective, I verb nouns!

        chomp; # nom nom nom

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by BrowserUk (Pope) on Oct 05, 2008 at 01:19 UTC

    ...that it won't be until we can build an even bigger collider, say around the rim of the Aitken Basin, and fill the interior of the Bailly Cratar with solar cells to supply the energy, that we'll be able to achieve the velocities to finally rule out the existance of the Higgs-Boson.

    In the meantime, It'll keep a lot of physicists in work :)

      ... a crop of exceedingly embarrassing pop-science documentaries where nothing very spectacular happens and the poor presenters try to be tremendously excited and to not look bewildered.
      This signature will be ready by Christmas
      It'll keep a lot of physicists in work

      Thank God, a report on 60 Minutes last night talked about how the current financial crisis, was directly caused by Phd physicists who went to work on Wall Street with their advanced mathematical models........these foolproof derivative instruments, which is 60 Trillion of invisible money, is crushing everything. They said the formulas were foolproof, but when the interviewer asked how come things are falling apart, the interviewee responded "well they couldn't forsee the current conditions". So they were foolproof until something realworld hit them.

      Maybe the first black hole has been created on Wall Street. Keep those Phd idiots in the labs. :-)


      I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth Remember How Lucky You Are

        Nah! They're not physicists, they're mathematicians!

        One of them wrote the proof of the theorem, which ran to twenty pages, and the rest all agreed that it was a "marvelous proof", rather than admit they didn't understand it.

        They then wrote a simulation of that theorem in distributed Concurrent Haskell and ran it at 1000 times real-time speed on a massively parallel computing cloud, to show how it would work. They simulated everything. Markets; bears; bulls; oil-prices; OJ & pork-belly futures; war-zones & disasters; government changes; local and global economy heath; employment trends; factory gate prices; the macro and micro economic decisions taken by the major central banks around the world; and a zillion other influences.

        Unfortunately, rather than risk the purity of their model with potentially corrupted data from the outside world, they simulated the market with a sophisticated Maybe Monad wrapped around a PRNG. But being a greedy algorithm running over a lazy list on an ethereal system, the result was inevitable :)


        Examine what is said, not who speaks -- Silence betokens consent -- Love the truth but pardon error.
        "Science is about questioning the status quo. Questioning authority".
        In the absence of evidence, opinion is indistinguishable from prejudice.
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by Anonymous Monk on Oct 05, 2008 at 07:24 UTC
    Another way to obliterate the earth
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by moritz (Cardinal) on Oct 05, 2008 at 19:47 UTC
    ... helium leaks, accompanied by re-heating, maintenance tasks and cooling.

    (As both a physicist and a Perl 6 hacker I was torn between two of the answers, obviously. Nice poll, shmem++).

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by hypochrismutreefuzz (Scribe) on Oct 06, 2008 at 04:15 UTC

    ExHadron, a new powerful analgesic designed for metaphysical headache pain.

      H a d r O n - A new homeopathic remedy, for application directly to the forehead.
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by syphilis (Canon) on Oct 06, 2008 at 06:48 UTC
    I used to have a large hardon ... but not any more.

    Cheers,
    Rob
      but not any more
      ... which most likely explains your nickname =)


      holli, /regexed monk/
Large Hadron Collider and discusions
by sandeepbharmoria (Beadle) on Oct 06, 2008 at 09:40 UTC
    When I heard about LHC i thought about some giant crazy experiment... and News papers were full of all the bad things that can happen after the experiment..
    Children were asking each other in evening about the experiment in park... That play today... "kal ho naa ho!!!"(There may be chances of no tomorrow).. Quite scary..
    In schools high school physics teachers and students are talking about the results and discusing it more seriously then the syllabus :)
    Most interesting thing I seen was a cobbler saying... what about my customers after this experiment!!! He was really sad that there will be no customer,... hahahaha...
    So from a scientists to a 7 year kid were talking about.. what will happen... with a dumb scary look...
      Also seen on thespoof.com.

      If you're not the original author, you should at least credit the author, and refrain from copy&pasting it here (unless with permission, of course).

        Thanks Moritz.. I have removed the topic ... Now its mine own.. I hope its fine...
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by bart (Canon) on Oct 06, 2008 at 10:33 UTC
      Bugorski was taken to a clinic in Moscow so that doctors could observe his death over the following two to three weeks.

      The question becomes, did the accelerator actually malfunction, or were they looking for a guinea pig......"heh Anatoli... stick your head in there and see what the noise is" :-)

      In the recent documentary on the LHC (Discovery Channel?), they talked about "quenches", where magnetic containment can be lost in microseconds, and the safety procedures to avoid it. The interviewee said the beam would bust out of the LHC and penetrate 100 meters of rock. Anyone standing in it's path would die immediately ( but would not vaporize.....thats a relief :-) )


      I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth Remember How Lucky You Are
        The interviewee said the beam would bust out of the LHC and penetrate 100 meters of rock.

        Penetrating that much solid sounds scary, but it's not necessarily harmful. Some particles only interact weekly with matter. For example as we speak, several hundred or even thousand Neutrinos pass through me - scary. But not harmful.

        Anyone standing in it's path would die immediately

        That said, there are harmful cases as well ;-)

        One of my college profs (in the early 70's) told an anecdote about a researcher at Fermi Lab who decided to visit the target chamber while the accelerator was running (it was his experiment!). He did not long survive.


        Information about American English usage here and here. Floating point issues? Please read this before posting. — emc

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by dHarry (Abbot) on Oct 06, 2008 at 13:03 UTC

    It’s 2009 after extensive testing and fixing the LHC is finally switched on to do its thing. A wonderful achievement! Surely the borders of science will be pushed and some of the most fundamental questions will be answered. The first results are truly spectacular. But then something happens...

    Many tiny black holes are created, as much as one per second. But no problem, they are unstable and vaporize within a tiny fraction of a second. This is all according to calculations anyway. But next something unexpected happens; against the odds one of those baby black holes is stable. It is there to stay! Nothing seems to happen though; it simply escapes the lab and slowly sinks to the centre of the Earth attracted by gravity. Nobody will probably notice.

    After some time the black hole bumps into an obstacle like for example an electron. It greedily swallows the particle. The black hole becomes heavier and pulls in some more particles, and more, and more… The black hole becomes bigger and bigger and bigger until it sucks up the Earth’s core, the mantle and then the entire Earth. Oops.

    Fortunately it takes the black hole probably hundreds of thousands of years to mature. All the time we need to evacuate the planet. The probability on something happening like described is considered "acceptable small".

    I am going to watch the Black hole again;-)

      There is something else going on also however. It is not a one-way process.

      Hawking Radiation is generated by that black hole. What goes in must come out.

      At best, it ensures that yes, these black holes are unstable and degenerate into boson soup. At worst it will at least offset the growth rate in some way and buy us some time.



      Wait! This isn't a Parachute, this is a Backpack!

        Yes... I know, in fact Black Holes are pretty complex.

        -> Black holes with masses less than about 10^11 kg can evaporate in less than the age of the Universe*. A comforting thought;-)

        Well mankind will probably be extinct in much less time anyway...

        But IMHO a lot of "facts" on Black Holes are rather speculative. Theoretical physics going wild. The Math involved is often horrible. (Again IMHO).

        * source: Hawking Radiation

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by wol (Hermit) on Oct 06, 2008 at 14:47 UTC
    ... brown-outs.

    --
    .sig : File not found.

Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by ack (Deacon) on Oct 06, 2008 at 15:42 UTC

    I think we're gonna need more fuel...do the lights in the neighborhood of the LHC dim when they're running that thing?

    ack Albuquerque, NM
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by Illuminatus (Curate) on Oct 06, 2008 at 17:01 UTC
    A major lawsuit, claiming innocent Hadrons are being subjected to 'cruel and unusual punishment' without due process. Also, a claim for 'pain and suffering' as well as punitive damages to go to the victim's families (neutrons, mostly). Does making a neutron wealthier increase its mass?
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by wolfger (Deacon) on Oct 06, 2008 at 18:40 UTC
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by sandeepbharmoria (Beadle) on Oct 07, 2008 at 03:43 UTC
    high expenditure on machines than humans :(
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by chexmix (Hermit) on Oct 08, 2008 at 20:11 UTC
    ... Large Hadron Collidees.
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by koolgirl (Hermit) on Oct 09, 2008 at 05:09 UTC
    After many hours of deep meditation...
    Millions of tiny black holes, that spit out a new version of Perl every time something of significant value is devoured...
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by mscharrer (Hermit) on Oct 09, 2008 at 09:35 UTC
    Micro Perl6 holes devouring the Web 2.0!
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by marto (Chancellor) on Oct 13, 2008 at 12:15 UTC
    If Gordon Freeman is on the job, I suggest we stock up on crowbars and HEV suits!

    Martin
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by Tux (Monsignor) on Oct 14, 2008 at 12:43 UTC
      POKER KATSU.
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by Anonymous Monk on Oct 14, 2008 at 16:06 UTC
    devouring Earth? kind of like
    unlink('Earth');
    Ouch!
Re: Using the Large Hadron Collider is likely to produce ...
by Anonymous Monk on Oct 16, 2008 at 12:42 UTC
    @$$hole the size of a Mason jar

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