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When I die, I will...

by petecm99 (Pilgrim)
on Jul 01, 2011 at 09:48 UTC ( [id://912313]=poll: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

Vote on this poll

go to Heaven
[bar] 165/16%
check-in to Hades
[bar] 12/1%
lounge at the bar in Purgatory
[bar] 26/3%
be reborn
[bar] 46/5%
be reduced to ashes
[bar] 106/10%
slowly rot in a coffin
[bar] 76/8%
swim with the fishes
[bar] 15/1%
haunt my enemies, spouse, and/or friends
[bar] 39/4%
merge with the universe
[bar] 143/14%
display an error message then return control to the shell
[bar] 278/27%
check in at Milliways and wait for the universe to end
[bar] 107/11%
1013 total votes
Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: When I die, I will...
by pajout (Curate) on Jul 01, 2011 at 11:45 UTC
    be caught by eval {}
Re: When I die, I will...
by toolic (Bishop) on Jul 01, 2011 at 13:37 UTC
Re: When I die, I will...
by ChuckularOne (Prior) on Jul 01, 2011 at 12:42 UTC
    Throw an undocumented error
Re: When I die, I will...
by cdarke (Prior) on Jul 04, 2011 at 08:36 UTC
    ...have on my gravestone:

    "It is now safe to turn off your computer".

    Although knowing my luck it'll be stuck on:

    "Please wait while your computer shuts down"

    SIGKILL, please, someone...
Re: When I die, I will...
by kcott (Archbishop) on Jul 02, 2011 at 00:41 UTC

    Load a previously saved game.

    -- Ken

Re: When I die, I will...
by JavaFan (Canon) on Jul 04, 2011 at 10:15 UTC
    The universe will end the moment I die. All of you only exist in my imagination.

    But there will be free pizza if I turn out to be wrong.

Re: When I die, I will...
by BrowserUk (Patriarch) on Jul 04, 2011 at 10:35 UTC
    When I die, I will won't ...
      like :)
Re: When I die, I will...
by zentara (Archbishop) on Jul 01, 2011 at 18:21 UTC
    I will ... probably start stinking in a few days if you don't bury me, but what the f* do I care, I'm going to Krishnaloka. TGIF :-)

    I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth.
    Old Perl Programmer Haiku ................... flash japh
Re: When I die, I will...
by blue_cowdawg (Monsignor) on Jul 07, 2011 at 14:00 UTC

    I am a sailor and a fisherman, there are two appropriate replies:

    1. Old Sailors never die, they just get a little dinghy.
    2. Old Fishermen never die, they just smell that way.


    Peter L. Berghold -- Unix Professional
    Peter -at- Berghold -dot- Net; AOL IM redcowdawg Yahoo IM: blue_cowdawg
Re: When I die, I will...
by Anonymous Monk on Jul 01, 2011 at 10:27 UTC
    wake up and restart the simulation
Re: When I die, I will...
by Ratazong (Monsignor) on Jul 01, 2011 at 11:16 UTC
Re: When I die, I will...
by Anonymous Monk on Jul 07, 2011 at 19:58 UTC

    Become a zombie, unless my parent process waits on me!

      Ah, but what if your parent has set $SIG{'CHLD'} = 'IGNORE';?
Re: When I die, I will...
by Tux (Canon) on Jul 01, 2011 at 13:58 UTC

    I plan to release all my gained energy and haunt all the people I love to receive some of that back, either as knowledge or as motivation or love.

    One has to believe in something, and I do not believe in (any form of) God.


    Enjoy, Have FUN! H.Merijn
Re: When I die, I will...
by davido (Cardinal) on Jul 01, 2011 at 18:37 UTC

    $SIG{__DIE__} = sub { print "All your base are belong to us!"; }


    Dave

Re: When I die, I will...
by fishy (Friar) on Jul 06, 2011 at 19:25 UTC
     foreach (@life) { new $life and die; }
Re: When I die, I will...
by thezip (Vicar) on Jul 09, 2011 at 19:54 UTC

    reprogram all elevator music with my own personal mix.


    What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof. - Christopher Hitchens
Re: When I die, I will...
by Tuppis (Initiate) on Jul 02, 2011 at 01:30 UTC
    Cannot compute.
      until(&time){ print "hello, hello, This is $deadme please don't switch + off the computer I appear to have rematerialised in ram"; } sub time{ my $revival = eval ($today() + rnd(($year()+5)-($year()+1))); return $revival; }
Re: When I die, I will...
by stonecolddevin (Parson) on Jul 13, 2011 at 14:51 UTC

    I'll cross the Rainbow Bridge to reunite with my best friend and partner in crime, Kross Kross, and head on over to the Elysian Fields to play fetch and practice Kung Fu. I feel like that's a pretty good way to spend eternity, whether ideologies were crossed or not.

    Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, you're god damn right I'm living in the fucking past

Re: When I die, I will...
by moggs (Sexton) on Jul 18, 2011 at 16:33 UTC

    It's the conclusion of my algorithm for life:

    • Born
    • Loop:
      • Some days are good
      • Some days are bad
    • Repeat until dead
Re: When I die, I will...
by mertserger (Curate) on Jul 03, 2011 at 18:04 UTC
    go to the Fields of Reeds after having made the Negative Confessions. After all my username is Ancient Egyptian
Re: When I die, I will...
by Arunbear (Prior) on Jul 18, 2011 at 12:34 UTC

      That link does not seem to work (anymore). I assume it refers to The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase where "The second is The Love-matic Grampa, a sitcom featuring Moe Szyslak who receives dating advice from Abraham Simpson, whose ghost is possessing a love testing machine."

        Thanks, yes it is that one. I've replaced the link with a snapshot from the Internet Archive.
Re: When I die, I will...
by perl.j (Pilgrim) on Jul 12, 2011 at 23:05 UTC
    Hate to be a party pooper but aren't most of you guys religious? If so I would think your answer would be Go To Heaven.
       "Hate to be a party pooper but aren't most of you guys religious?"

      The Monastery is pretty diverse in that regard. See: Religion in the Monastery. for a sampling of members' views.


      "...the adversities born of well-placed thoughts should be considered mercies rather than misfortunes." — Don Quixote
      That would kinda imply using a "goto". Good practice would be "use afterlife; &heaven".
      Just Another Perl, Python, Ruby and C hacker.

        No no no. The modern, structured replacement for GOTO (long jump) is exceptions.

        while(1) { # eternal ... if ( -T _ ) { # terminal. yuk yuk die "OUTAHERE"; # or croak } }
        I reckon we are the only monastery ever to have a dungeon stuffed with 16,000 zombies.
        But that would imply a return...

        or maybe goto &heaven containing an infinite loop? So death is just a form of AUTOLOAD.
Re: When I die, I will...
by SeigePerlous (Novice) on Jul 25, 2011 at 15:50 UTC
    ...merge with Agent Smith, effectively restarting the machine mainframe creating the 7th incarnation of the Matrix.
Re: When I die, I will...
by Anonymous Monk on Jul 11, 2011 at 17:34 UTC
    Mississippi John Hurt had a good idea:

    "When my earthly trials are over, carry my body out in the sea.

    Save all the undertaker bills, let the mermaids flirt with me."

Re: When I die, I will...
by jozef (Sexton) on Jul 20, 2011 at 09:28 UTC
    When I (physical me) die, I (spiritual me) will continue to live in thoughts, dreams and memories of those people I spoke to, influenced or taught something worth thinking, dreaming or remembering about.
Re: When I die, I will...
by Anonymous Monk on Jul 12, 2011 at 13:52 UTC

    Error 1321

    Error 1321. Windows has insufficient priviledges to
    delete "user". please log on as "user" or contact "user"!



Re: When I die, I will...
by woosley (Beadle) on Jul 20, 2011 at 05:02 UTC
    become a zombie because no one cases...
Re: When I die, I will...
by Anonymous Monk on Jul 06, 2011 at 14:01 UTC
    will give error Process Terminated!!! Reboot again...
Re: When I die, I will...
by stevieb (Canon) on Apr 13, 2017 at 13:20 UTC

    Be haunted by the bugs in my code that I didn't have time to fix.

Re: When I die, I will...
by wjw (Priest) on Apr 13, 2017 at 10:31 UTC
    Actually I think I will go to heaven and merge with the universe, which are about the same thing to me. But then I have my own belief system which is itself a merge between Protestant upbringing and Science. I don't see the two as mutually exclusive.

    ...the majority is always wrong, and always the last to know about it...

    A solution is nothing more than a clearly stated problem...

Re: When I die, I will...
by Anonymous Monk on Jul 13, 2011 at 07:24 UTC
    definitely be reborn according to what i did.
Re: When I die, I will...
by Anonymous Monk on Jul 25, 2011 at 14:19 UTC
    exec $0;

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