I really need more polls. Currently I have approximately 25 percent of my workday which is not taken up with meetings (read that: getting together with groups of people who need I.T. input on their project, by sitting around a table making outrageous demands, debating endlessly the wording of the committee’s statement of objectives, or attempting to trap someone else into accidentally making a decision or commitment, until the meeting is terminated by hydraulic pressure), Corporate updates (read: Management who will pull a group of people into an uncomfortable room for hours on end to “Share valuable information” with “their” people on an impersonal level without having to send a simple email), and important polls required to improve our service to you! (read: a list of questions: with answers so vague that no improvement will be possible or, to improve management performance, while easily identifying any fool who dares to answer truthfully, or to provide valuable feedback on the latest trivial communication with our company – my god! I asked “will a paper bill be sent?”, answer “yes”. End of contact. This needs a poll?).
Perhaps restaurants should have polls on the table requesting feedback on every meal. Perhaps we should create entire companies dedicated to polling, they could offer options such as personal polls where they could call and annoy people in their homes, or harass potential customers while the shop/dine etc, or maybe they could offer a service where one could create a web based poll, to be sent to hundreds or perhaps thousands of dis-interested folks. You know, we could use polls at work, rather than having people talk with one another.
If we can fill the remaining work time with useless overhead I will be expendable and can fire myself as a corporate improvement, start a consulting company to conduct polls of companies who have people who actually do work until their best people are slagged with useless information gathering tasks in the name of improvement, then I can consult with those companies, show them how to cut expenses by firing those people who were doing nothing but filling out polls, and gathering information to prove that they were working while driving their self esteem down the tubes.
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