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Cockney Rhyming Slang Converter

Only takes one string at a time. Also adds a "Norf Lahndan" accent...

#!/usr/bin/perl -w use strict; my $eng; print "\n\n"; print "\tWelcome to the CRSC!\n"; print "\t(Cockney Rhyming Slang Converter)\n"; print "\n\n"; print "Enter a sentence to be converted :\n"; ($eng = <STDIN>); $eng =~ s/my/me/ig; $eng =~ s/your/yer/ig; $eng =~ s/you're/yer/ig; $eng =~ s/\byou\b/ya/ig; $eng =~ s/aren't you/int'cha/ig; $eng =~ s/out/aht/ig; $eng =~ s/um/am/ig; $eng =~ s/uc/ac/ig; $eng =~ s/or(?!o)/aw/ig; #$eng =~ s/oro/oro/ig; # UPDATED : Props to Chipmunk and Boo $eng =~ s/al/aw/ig; $eng =~ s/ath/arf/ig; $eng =~ s/ith/iv/ig; $eng =~ s/\bh/'/ig; $eng =~ s/ow/ah/ig; $eng =~ s/ath/arf/ig; $eng =~ s/ord/awd/ig; $eng =~ s/ith/iv/ig; $eng =~ s/oth/uvv/ig; $eng =~ s/\bten/cock and hen/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgrand/bag of sand/ig; $eng =~ s/\btwo/bottle of glue/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfiver/lady godiva/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsix/dorothy dicks/ig; $eng =~ s/\beight/garden gate/ig; $eng =~ s/\bninety-nine/calvin klein/ig; $eng =~ s/\ball-dayer/leo sayer/ig; $eng =~ s/\balone/jack jones/ig; $eng =~ s/\barm\b/chalk farm/ig; $eng =~ s/\barmy/kate carney/ig; $eng =~ s/\barse/bottle and glass/ig; $eng =~ s/\bback/hammer and tack/ig; $eng =~ s/\bballs/cobblers awls/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbank/iron tank/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpub\b/nuclear sub/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstella/nelson mandela/ig; $eng =~ s/\bboozer/battle cruiser/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbeard/strange and wierd/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbed/uncle ted/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbeef/itchy teeth/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbeers/britney spears/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbelieve/adam and eve/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbelly/derby kelly/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbent/stoke-on-trent/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbike/dick van dyke/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbigot/lester piggot/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbint/polo mint/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbitches/ronald riches/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbitter/apple fritter/ig; $eng =~ s/\bblazer/razor/ig; $eng =~ s/\bblood/claret/ig; $eng =~ s/\bblotto/santa's grotto/ig; $eng =~ s/\bboat/nanny goat/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbollocks/jackson pollocks/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbombs/uncle toms/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbomb/uncle tom/ig; $eng =~ s/\bboss/profit and loss/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbottle/aristotle/ig; $eng =~ s/\btwo/bottle of glue/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbreasts/georgie bests/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbroke/hearts of oak/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbullshitter/little critter/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbum/deaf and dumb/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbunk/pineapple chunk/ig; $eng =~ s/\bburp/wyatt earp/ig; $eng =~ s/\bburst/geoff hurst/ig; $eng =~ s/\bbutter/mutter and stutter/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcab/sherbet dab/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcafe/colonel gadaffi/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcar/jam jar/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcash/sausage and mash/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcat/this and that/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchancer/bengal lancer/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcell/flowery dell/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchange/rifle range/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchapel/pineapple/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcharlie/boutros boutros gali/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchat/top hat/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcheese/john cleese/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcheque/gregory peck/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcheck/gregory peck/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchest/bird's nest/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchilly/picadilly/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchin/harry lin/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchinky/thumb and pinky/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchink/tiddlywink/ig; $eng =~ s/\bchips/jockeys whips/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcider/wynona rider/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcigar/la-di-da/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcigarette/snout/ig; $eng =~ s/\bclock/tick-tock/ig; $eng =~ s/\bclue/scooby doo/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcoat/weasel and stoat/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcold/soldiers bold/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcopper/bottle and stopper/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcorner/johnny horner/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcrap/pony and trap/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcrime/lemon and lime/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcripple/raspberry ripple/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcrust/you must/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcupboard/mother hubbard/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcurry/ruby murray/ig; $eng =~ s/\bcustoms and excise/church boys/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdaft/fore and aft/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdance/jack palance/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdaughter/bricks and mortar/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdead/brown bread/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdeaf/mutt and jeff/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdiet/brixton riot/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdinner/john skinner/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdock/red sock/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdog/cherry hog/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdole/rock and roll/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdollar/oxford scholar/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdoor/patrick moore/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdope/bob hope/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdose/half a gross/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdraft/george raft/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdrink/kitchen sink/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdrunk/elephant's trunk/ig; $eng =~ s/\bdump/forest gump/ig; $eng =~ s/\bears/lords and peers/ig; $eng =~ s/\beasy/bright and breezy/ig; $eng =~ s/\beighth/henry/ig; $eng =~ s/\belbow/spanish archer/ig; $eng =~ s/\bemail/british rail/ig; $eng =~ s/\bexam/green eggs and ham/ig; $eng =~ s/\beyes/mince pies/ig; $eng =~ s/\bface/boat race/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfaces/airs and graces/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfacts/brass tacks/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfake/ricki lake/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfanny/jack and danny/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfart/horse and cart/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfarting/george martin/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfault/whiskey malt/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfavour/cheesey quaver/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfax/nail and tacks/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfeet/plates of meat/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfifty/nifty/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfingers/longers and lingers/ig; $eng =~ s/\bflannel/suez canal/ig; $eng =~ s/\bflares/lionel blairs/ig; $eng =~ s/\bflash/harry dash/ig; $eng =~ s/\bflush/snow and slush/ig; $eng =~ s/\bflying squad/sweeney todd/ig; $eng =~ s/\bfork/roast pork/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgas/bottle of bass/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgeezer/fridge freezer/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgiggles/flight leiutenant biggles/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgin/vera lynn/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgin and tonic/philharmonic/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgirl/twist and twirl/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgiro/nightboat to cairo/ig; $eng =~ s/\bglobes/turtle doves/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgo\b/scapa flow/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgoal/sausage roll/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgravy/army and navy/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgreek/bubble and squeak/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgrief/omar sharif/ig; $eng =~ s/\bguts/comic cuts/ig; $eng =~ s/\bgym/fatboy slim/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhaemorrhoid/emma freud/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhair/tony blair/ig; $eng =~ s/\bham/uncle sam/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhammer/windjammer/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhand/ivory band/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhands/german bands/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhandy/jack and dandy/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhanky/widow twanky/ig; $eng =~ s/\bharsh/rodney marsh/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhat/tit for tat/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhead/loaf of bread/ig; $eng =~ s/\bheart/horse and cart/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhill/jack and jill/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhooker/one time looker/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhooter/pea shooter/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhorse/charing cross/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhot/peas in the pot/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhouse/cat and mouse/ig; $eng =~ s/\bhusband/old pot and pan/ig; $eng =~ s/\bice/white mice/ig; $eng =~ s/\bill/jimmy hill/ig; $eng =~ s/\bjacket/desmond hacket/ig; $eng =~ s/\bjail/rusty nail/ig; $eng =~ s/\bjeans/steve mcqueens/ig; $eng =~ s/\bjesus christ/cheese and rice/ig; $eng =~ s/\bjewellery/tom foolery/ig; $eng =~ s/\bjoke/rum and coke/ig; $eng =~ s/\bjudge/chocolate fudge/ig; $eng =~ s/\bkettle/hansel and gretel/ig; $eng =~ s/\bkeys/dancing fleas/ig; $eng =~ s/\bkid/saucepan lid/ig; $eng =~ s/\bkidney/sydney/ig; $eng =~ s/\bkipper/jack the ripper/ig; $eng =~ s/\bknackered/cream crackered/ig; $eng =~ s/\bknackers/jacobs crackers/ig; $eng =~ s/\bknees/biscuits and cheese/ig; $eng =~ s/\bknickers/alan whickers/ig; $eng =~ s/\bknife/drum and fife/ig; $eng =~ s/\blager/forsythe saga/ig; $eng =~ s/\blater/baked potatah/ig; $eng =~ s/\blather/how's your father/ig; $eng =~ s/\blaugh/giraffe/ig; $eng =~ s/\bleg/mystic meg/ig; $eng =~ s/\blegs/bacon and eggs/ig; $eng =~ s/\bliar/holy friar/ig; $eng =~ s/\blie/pork pie/ig; $eng =~ s/\blighter/kungfu fighter/ig; $eng =~ s/\blights/ian wrights/ig; $eng =~ s/\blodger/artful dodger/ig; $eng =~ s/\blook/butcher's hook/ig; $eng =~ s/\blost it/kate mossed it/ig; $eng =~ s/\blove/rubber glove/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmarge/little and large/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmark/finsbury park/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmarker/ronnie barker/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmarried/cash and carried/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmate/china plate/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmeat pie/dog's eye/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmeeting/buster keaton/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmental/chicken oriental/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmess/slits in a dress/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmiddle/hey diddle diddle/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmilk/acker bilk/ig; $eng =~ s/\bminge/edinburgh fringe/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmisses/plates and dishes/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmoney/bugs bunny/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmotor/haddock and bloater/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmouth/north and south/ig; $eng =~ s/\bmrs/love and kisses/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnark/grass in the park/ig; $eng =~ s/\bneck/bushel and peck/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnerves/west ham reserves/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnice/chicken and rice/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnick/shovel and pick/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnightmare/lionel blair/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnippy/bungle and zippy/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnose/i suppose/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnothing/nixies/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnumbers/cucumbers/ig; $eng =~ s/\bnun/hot cross bun/ig; $eng =~ s/\boff/frank bough/ig; $eng =~ s/\bold man/pot and pan/ig; $eng =~ s/\bout of order/alan border/ig; $eng =~ s/\bown/jack/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpants/alans/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpaper/linen draper/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpark/plimsoll mark/ig; $eng =~ s/\bparty/russell harty/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpee/rosy lee/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpenny/abergavenny/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpension/shawshank/ig; $eng =~ s/\bphone/dog and bone/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpiano/joanna/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpiddle/jimmy riddle/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpiles/farmer giles/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpillow/weeping willow/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpills/mick mills/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpinched/half-inched/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpish/single fish/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpiss\b/gypsy's kiss/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpissed/brahms and liszt/ig; $eng =~ s/\bplace/drum and bass/ig; $eng =~ s/\bplanner/elsie tanner/ig; $eng =~ s/\bplease/hairy knees/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpocket/sky rocket/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpolice/old bill/ig; $eng =~ s/\bponce/charlie ronce/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpork/mickey rourke/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpots/norman watts/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpounds/quid/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpox/cardboard box/ig; $eng =~ s/\bprat/paper hat/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpregnant/keith chegwin/ig; $eng =~ s/\bprick/hampton wick/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpriest/far east/ig; $eng =~ s/\bprinter/bernie winter/ig; $eng =~ s/\bpunters/billie bunters/ig; $eng =~ s/\bquarter/farmer's daughter/ig; $eng =~ s/\bqueer/chelsea pier/ig; $eng =~ s/\brabbits/nuns and habits/ig; $eng =~ s/\brain/andy cain/ig; $eng =~ s/\brally/manchester scally/ig; $eng =~ s/\brandy/mahatma ghandi/ig; $eng =~ s/\braw/bale of straw/ig; $eng =~ s/\breadies/duane eddies/ig; $eng =~ s/\breasons/four seasons/ig; $eng =~ s/\breek/ancient greek/ig; $eng =~ s/\brent/duke of kent/ig; $eng =~ s/\bride/charlie pride/ig; $eng =~ s/\bright/isle of wight/ig; $eng =~ s/\bring/highland fling/ig; $eng =~ s/\bring on finger/ling and linger/ig; $eng =~ s/\briver/shake and shiver/ig; $eng =~ s/\broad/frog and toad/ig; $eng =~ s/\brookie/biscuit and cookie/ig; $eng =~ s/\brough/brian clough/ig; $eng =~ s/\brow/bull and cow/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsack/tin tack/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsause/rocking horse/ig; $eng =~ s/\bscar/mars bar/ig; $eng =~ s/\bscore/bobby moore/ig; $eng =~ s/\bscot/sweaty sock/ig; $eng =~ s/\bscotch/gold watch/ig; $eng =~ s/\bscouse/mickey mouse/ig; $eng =~ s/\bseen/pearly queen/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshag\b/zig and zag/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshagged/melvyn bragged/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshark/noah's ark/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshave/all-night rave/ig; $eng =~ s/\bship/Happeny dip/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshit\b/eartha kitt/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshits\b/san moritz/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshite\b/barry white/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshitter/gary glitter/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshocker/barry crocker/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshoes/rhythm and blues/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshoulder/spark and smoulder/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshout/brussel sprout/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshovel/lord lovel/ig; $eng =~ s/\bshower/eiffel tower/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsick/tom dick/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsimple/dolly dimple/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsister/skin and blister/ig; $eng =~ s/\bskint/borassic lint/ig; $eng =~ s/\bslash/charlie nash/ig; $eng =~ s/\bslaughtered/son and daughtered/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsleep/bo peep/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsmile/carpet pile/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsnake/joe blake/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsoap/band of hope/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsocks/almond rocks/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsun/currant bun/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsores/dudley moores/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsoup/loop the loop/ig; $eng =~ s/\bspanner/elsie tanner/ig; $eng =~ s/\bspine/lager and lime/ig; $eng =~ s/\bspuds/roy hudds/ig; $eng =~ s/\bspunk/harry monk/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstains/michael caines/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstairs/apple and pears/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstarving/hank marvin/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstate/two and eight/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsteak/kate/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstench/dame judy dench/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstink\b/pen and ink/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstinking/abraham lincoln/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstory/jackanory/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstrangers/queen's park rangers/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstrides/jeckyll and hyde's/ig; $eng =~ s/\bstrong/ping pong/ig; $eng =~ s/\b(?!p)sub/rubber dub/ig; # thanks to xaco for spotting thi +s $eng =~ s/\bsuit/whistle and flute/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsupper/tommy tucker/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsure/bobby/ig; $eng =~ s/\bsuspenders/no surrenders/ig; $eng =~ s/\btable\b/cain and abel/ig; $eng =~ s/\btablets/gary abblets/ig; $eng =~ s/\btan/charlie chan/ig; $eng =~ s/\btart/treacle/ig; $eng =~ s/\btax\b/candle wax/ig; $eng =~ s/\btaxi/joe baxi/ig; $eng =~ s/\btea/rosie lee/ig; $eng =~ s/\bteeth/hampstead heath/ig; $eng =~ s/\btelly/liza minelli/ig; $eng =~ s/\btenner/ayrton senna/ig; $eng =~ s/\bthank you/sandshoe/ig; $eng =~ s/\bthief/tea-leaf/ig; $eng =~ s/\bthirst/geoff hurst/ig; $eng =~ s/\bticket/wilson picket/ig; $eng =~ s/\btie/peckham rye/ig; $eng =~ s/\btime/bird/ig; $eng =~ s/\btits/thru'penny bits/ig; $eng =~ s/\btoast\b/holy ghost/ig; $eng =~ s/\btoaster/roller coaster/ig; $eng =~ s/\btoe/sebastian coe/ig; $eng =~ s/\btomato sauce/dead horse/ig; $eng =~ s/\btongue/brigham young/ig; $eng =~ s/\btools/crown jewels/ig; $eng =~ s/\btow\b/edgar allen poe/ig; $eng =~ s/\btowel/pete powell/ig; $eng =~ s/\btrain\b/john wayne/ig; $eng =~ s/\btrainers/claire raynors/ig; $eng =~ s/\btramp/paraffin lamp/ig; $eng =~ s/\btrouble/barney rubble/ig; $eng =~ s/\btrousers/round the houses/ig; $eng =~ s/\btrunks/chipmunks/ig; $eng =~ s/\btube/oxo cube/ig; $eng =~ s/\bturd/richard the third/ig; $eng =~ s/\bturkey/pinky and perky/ig; $eng =~ s/\bumbrella/auntie ella/ig; $eng =~ s/\bundies/reg grundies/ig; $eng =~ s/\bveg\b/uncle reg/ig; $eng =~ s/\bveggie/ronnie and reggie/ig; $eng =~ s/\bvicar/pie and liquor/ig; $eng =~ s/\bvomit/wallice and gromit/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwager/john major/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwages/cat and cages/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwalk/ball of chalk/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwank\b/j. arthur rank/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwanker/merchant banker/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwash/bob squash/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwatch/kettle/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwater/fisherman's daughter/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwebsite/wind and kite/ig; $eng =~ s/\bweed/harris tweed/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwench/monkey wrench/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwhore/roger moore/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwife/trouble and strife/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwig/syrup fig/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwindow/burnt cinder/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwindshield wiper/billie piper/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwindy/mork and mindy/ig; $eng =~ s/\bword/dicky bird/ig; $eng =~ s/\bworries/fred mcmurrays/ig; $eng =~ s/\bwrong/pete tong/ig; $eng =~ s/\byank/sherman tank/ig; print "\nYour sentence has been translated to Cockney Rhyming Slang : +'Ave A Nice Day Nah Won'tcha\n"; print "\n$eng\n"; # CSRC Copyright @2001 azatoth
UPDATED : as per tye's comments below. Thanks man.

In reply to CRSC by azatoth

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    [Corion]: choroba: Hmm - no, I keep the snippets inline, but as my framework also has support for capturing output etc., maybe I should do the same...
    [Corion]: haukex: Yes, that approach is sane, and it heals the fragility of Pod parsers in a nice way while still syntax-checking stuff
    [choroba]: Unfortunately, none of it is online
    [haukex]: I figured that POD tests make sense, but only as author tests
    [choroba]: I mean, the slides are, but not the makefile with scripts to create them
    [Corion]: haukex: I've only now arrived at that revelation ;)
    [Corion]: choroba: I use spod5, which also has that support, and also implements its own kinda-make stuff
    [haukex]: But that module I just linked to assumes that most verbatim blocks are runnable code, I have other modules where that's not the case, so there I just copy-and-paste the synopsis into the author tests...
    [haukex]: not the most efficient, but then again, I don't have that many modules on CPAN :-)
    [Corion]: haukex: Yes, but if it's only supposed to run on my machine, I can be far more liberal with how I extract the code etc.

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