With respect. Twaddle!

You're welcome.

Using the 300+ modules of Moose et. al.:

You are in love with that number, but you and I both know you are manipulating it for effect. That is the number of individual PM files that it uses, not the number of modules that it installs. Also, Moose is only a small portion of that, MooseX::Declare and PPI play a large role in that list, neither of which are Moose. (no no, MooseX::Declare is not Moose, don't get me started on that).

... invoke LWP::Simple::get() on a list of files, write them to a temporary directory, and then invoke system to run a command; is an inappropriate use of abstraction. The creation of complexity from simplicity. In a word, overkill.

Sure, thats fine, I won't really argue that point, but once again you seem to forget, Moose is not to blame for the overkill, the author is.

Like hiring the Philharmonic Orchestra to play musak in your lift; using an 18-wheeler to fetch a pint of milk from the corner shop; deploying the Delta Force to remove a spider from your bath.

1. World's most awesome elevator ride! (although perhaps a little crowded)
2. Nothing says "cool" like a Big Rig! Thats a big 10-4 good buddy!
3. Spiders are scary, THEY HAVE EIGHT EYES!!!!!!

With regard to expertise: Still no one has stepped up to decipher this diarrhoea:

Not publicly no, but honestly this is why I recommend against MooseX::Declare because it does f*cked up stuff like this to otherwise normal code.

If you need what Moose provides, and if it works, it's really cool. But it doesn't always work right, and when it doesn't, you are world of pain. Up shit creek without a paddle unless some one-of-the-four takes pity on you. And that is no way to make a living in this industry.

Wow, that is a pretty harsh words for which you have absolutely no basis. Moose works very well for hundreds, if not thousands of developers every day, if it was as fragile and dangerous as you think then it simply would not be being used.