$ cat t.pl
#!/usr/bin/perl
use strict;
use warnings;

my $joe = kablooie::new('Joe', 'Blow');
my $jane = kablooie::new('Jane', 'Smith');

my $name = $joe->fname();
print "joe's first name: $name\n";

$name = $jane->lname();
print "jane's last name: $name\n";

package kablooie;

my $kablooie_storage;
BEGIN {
    $kablooie_storage = "Bob's your uncle";
}

sub new {
    my ($fname,$lname) = @_;
    my $offset = length($kablooie_storage);
    $kablooie_storage .= chr(length($fname)) . $fname;
    $kablooie_storage .= chr(length($lname)) . $lname;
    return bless \$offset, 'kablooie';
}

sub fname {
    # FName is the first field
    my $self = shift;
    my $offset = $$self;
    my $len = ord(substr($kablooie_storage,$offset,1));
    return substr($kablooie_storage,$offset+1,$len);
}

sub lname {
    # LName is the second field
    my $self = shift;
    my $offset = $$self;
    my $len = ord(substr($kablooie_storage,$offset,1));
    $offset+=$len+1;
    $len = ord(substr($kablooie_storage,$offset,1));
    return substr($kablooie_storage,$offset+1,$len);
}