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my @unsorted = sort map { "foo$_.tla" } 0..999;

...
   schwartzian => sub { my @a = schwartzian @unsorted; },
   guttros     => sub { my @a = guttros     @unsorted; },
});

              Rate       naive      orcish schwartzian     guttros
naive       48.3/s          --        -34%        -46%        -60%
orcish      73.1/s         51%          --        -19%        -40%
schwartzian 90.1/s         86%         23%          --        -26%
guttros      122/s        152%         67%         35%          --

my @unsorted = sort map { "foo$_.tla" } 0..999;

...
   schwartzian => sub { scalar schwartzian @unsorted; },
   guttros     => sub { scalar guttros     @unsorted; },
});

            (warning: too few iterations for a reliable count)
            (warning: too few iterations for a reliable count)
...
guttros        144/s         35%          --       -100%       -100%
orcish      106383/s      99666%      73834%          --         -0%
naive       106383/s      99666%      73834%          0%          --