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die "$0 casts itself into the Gorge of Eternal Peril: $!";
die "$0 on fire: $!"; # lp1 on fire
die "mailx -s 'Idiot coding perl' merlyn < /dev/null : $!";
die "open(timehole): $!\n";
0 - I'm a blankster
0 - My devices have no keyboard
0 - I use a chorded keyboard that transcends your concept of keys
26 - I need the other keys for Perl sigils!
31 - I write code in the original APL
31 - ß counts only as one letter!
∞ - I use an Optimus keyboard
ℵ1 - I reject your Latin-centric notion of letters
Results (29 votes),