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sub transform (
$_[ 0 ] = 'tripped';
$text =~ s[cow\s+(jumps)\s+over][\&transform]rg; ## /r for 'ref'?
There is no Extraterrestrial life
There aren't any suitably capable Extraterrestrials
Interstellar travel is too difficult
We're too uncool / not worth the trouble
What do you mean they haven't visited?
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