CUFP gryphon Greetings fellow monks, I'm unsure whether this has been done before, but I was bored. So here it is: a management-speak generator, just in case you ever need to generate a long and meaningless document that sounds pseudo-impressive. This whole concept was highly influenced by <a href="http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html">Dack's Web BS Generator</a>, of course. <CODE>#!/usr/bin/perl -w use strict; srand; my @pronouns = qw(I we they); my @articles = qw(the your my); my @sub_conjuncs = ( 'after', 'although', 'as', 'as if', 'as long as', 'as though', 'because', 'before', 'even if', 'even though', 'if', 'if only', 'in order that', 'now that', 'once', 'rather than', 'since', 'so that', 'though', 'unless', 'until', 'when', 'whenever', 'where', 'whereas', 'wherever', 'while' ); my @power_words = qw( accomplished dealt implemented projected achieved debated improved promoted acquired decided included proofed adjusted defined increased purchased administered delegated indicated qualified advised delivered initiated questioned analyzed demonstrated inspected rated applied designed instructed received appraised determined insured recognized arranged developed interpreted recommended assessed devised interviewed recorded assisted directed introduced recruited assured discovered investigated reduced awarded dispensed joined rehabilitated bought displayed kept related briefed distributed launched renovated brought earned led repaired budgeted edited located reported calculated educated maintained represented cataloged elected managed researched chaired encouraged maximized reviewed changed enlisted measured revised classified ensured mediated selected closed entertained modified served coached established motivated simplified combined evaluated named sketched communicated examined negotiated sold compared excelled observed solved completed executed obtained spearheaded computed exhibited operated specified conceived expanded ordered started concluded expedited organized streamlined conducted explained paid strengthened confronted facilitated participated studied constructed financed perceived suggested continued forecast performed summarized contracted formulated persuaded supervised controlled gained placed targeted convinced gathered planned taught coordinated graded predicted tested corrected greeted prepared trained corresponded guided presented translated counseled handled processed treated created helped produced updated critiqued identified programmed wrote ); my @verbs = qw( aggregate architect benchmark brand cultivate deliver deploy disintermediate drive e-enable embrace empower enable engage engineer enhance envision evolve expedite exploit extend facilitate generate grow harness implement incentivize incubate innovate integrate iterate leverage maximize mesh monetize morph optimize orchestrate recontextualize reintermediate reinvent repurpose revolutionize scale seize strategize streamline syndicate synergize synthesize target transform transition unleash utilize visualize whiteboard ); my @aux_verbs = ( 'will', 'shall', 'may', 'might', 'can', 'could', 'must', 'ought to', 'should', 'would', 'need to' ); my @adjectives = qw( 24/365 24/7 B2B B2C back-end best-of-breed bleeding-edge bricks-and-clicks clicks-and-mortar collaborative compelling cross-platform cross-media customized cutting-edge distributed dot-com dynamic e-business efficient end-to-end enterprise extensible frictionless front-end global granular holistic impactful innovative integrated interactive intuitive killer leading-edge magnetic mission-critical next-generation one-to-one open-source out-of-the-box plug-and-play proactive real-time revolutionary robust scalable seamless sexy sticky strategic synergistic transparent turn-key ubiquitous user-centric value-added vertical viral virtual visionary web-enabled wireless world-class ); my @nouns = qw( action-items applications architectures bandwidth channels communities content convergence deliverables e-business e-commerce e-markets e-services e-tailers experiences eyeballs functionalities infomediaries infrastructures initiatives interfaces markets methodologies metrics mindshare models networks niches paradigms partnerships platforms portals relationships ROI synergies web-readiness schemas solutions supply-chains systems technologies users vortals ); my @conj_adverbs = qw(however moreover nevertheless consequently); my @conjuntors = qw(though although notwithstanding yet still); my @sentences; for (my $x=0; $x<100; $x++) { push @sentences, &sentence; } print join ' ', @sentences; exit; sub sentence { my $sentence; my $type = int(rand(5 - 1 + 1)) + 1; if ($type == 1) { $sentence = join ' ', maybe(&conj_adverb,1,4,', ') . &article, tobe(&noun), &power_word, &sub_conjunc, &pronoun, &power_word, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun . maybe(&phrase,1,2,''); } elsif ($type == 2) { $sentence = join ' ', maybe(&conj_adverb,1,4,', ') . &sub_conjunc, &pronoun, &power_word, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun . ',', &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun, &power_word, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun . maybe(&phrase,1,3,''); } elsif ($type == 3) { $sentence = join ' ', maybe(&conj_adverb,1,4,', ') . &pronoun, &aux_verb, &verb, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun, &sub_conjunc, &article, &adjective, plural(&noun), &aux_verb, &verb, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun . maybe(&phrase,1,4,''); } elsif ($type == 4) { $sentence = join ' ', maybe(&conj_adverb,1,4,', ') . &sub_conjunc, &pronoun, &verb, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun . ',', &pronoun, 'can', &verb, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun . maybe(&phrase,1,4,''); } elsif ($type == 5) { $sentence = join ' ', maybe(&conj_adverb,1,4,', ') . &pronoun, &aux_verb, &verb, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun, &sub_conjunc, &pronoun, &verb, &article, maybe(&adjective,1,2,' ') . &noun . maybe(&phrase,1,4,''); } return ucfirst($sentence) . '.'; } sub pronoun { return $pronouns[int(rand($#pronouns+1))]; } sub conjuntor { return $conjuntors[int(rand($#conjuntors+1))]; } sub sub_conjunc { return $sub_conjuncs[int(rand($#sub_conjuncs+1))]; } sub conj_adverb { return $conj_adverbs[int(rand($#conj_adverbs+1))]; } sub power_word { return $power_words[int(rand($#power_words+1))]; } sub verb { return $verbs[int(rand($#verbs+1))]; } sub aux_verb { return $aux_verbs[int(rand($#aux_verbs+1))]; } sub adjective { return $adjectives[int(rand($#adjectives+1))]; } sub noun { return $nouns[int(rand($#nouns+1))]; } sub article { return $articles[int(rand($#articles+1))]; } sub phrase { return join ' ', ',', &conjuntor, &article, tobe(&noun), &power_word; } sub tobe { return $_[0] . ' is' if ($_[0] =~ /ess$/); return $_[0] . ' are' if ($_[0] =~ /s$/); return $_[0] . ' is'; } sub plural { my $word = $_[0]; if ($word =~ /s$/) { $word =~ s/$/es/; } else { $word =~ s/$/s/; } return $word; } sub adverb { my $verb = &verb; $verb =~ s/e*$/ing/; return $verb; } sub maybe { my $low = $_[1]; my $high = $_[2]; if (int(rand($high - $low + 1)) + $low == $low) { return $_[0] . $_[3]; } else { return ''; } } </CODE> The English parsing is extremely incomplete, so often times (say one in five) you'll get slight grammatical errors. I tried to fix that up a bit with <CODE>&plural</CODE> and <CODE>&tobe</CODE>, but there's certainly much more to do. -[gryphon] code('Perl') || die;