poem
shockme
<CODE>
$perform = abs($exercises);
$chest = sqrt($cologne);
eval($self_in_mirror);
$stomach = sqrt($cologne);
eval($face_closely_in_mirror);
$! = sqrt($cologne);
eval($self_in_mirror);
chdir "/usr/local/bar" or die "You're solo tonight, baby: $!\n";
while (<BarOpen>) {
seek $potential, $female, $companionship;
@Available_Women = map {split ' '} @Women;
TARGET: while ($Woman = pop @Available_Women) {
eval($closest_female);
gethostbyname($Woman);
# note: women typically interpret the following as crypt($BlahBlahBlah, $whatever);
PICKUP_LINE: push @Woman, $pick_up_line[$current];
if ($slapped_face) {
delete $pick_up_line[$current];
next TARGET;
}
elsif ($rejection) {
next TARGET;
}
else {
++$current;
next PICKUP_LINE;
}
}
connect WITH, $woman if ($she_buys_it);
}
return $home_alone;
</CODE>
<BR>
<I>If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.</I>