obfuscated cog <code>#!/usr/bin/perl END{s{}{"@{[map{$%=$_;$_=&{$_{$_}};$%%2&&s%.%\u$&%;$_}($|..${$/=\ ($^A+$|+$?)})]},"}e;print}($,,$,,+$*,$,,$,)=($|..$=/(+++$^A+$^A)* +++$^A*++$^A);@_{++$|..2**(++$-+$-)}=(sub{(join$',map{+chr($|+$,+ ord($_))}reverse((split$`,&{$_{$=/($,*$,+$,)}})[$...$|]))."${\'s' }".substr(&{$_{2}},$^A,$|)},sub{"anoth".substr(&{$_{$^A}},+$-,$-+ $|)},sub{$a="\104\101\124\101";!seek$a,$=/($*+$,)+$|,$;or~~<$a>}, sub{local$";"@{[(split//,(chr($^A-$|+ord(substr(&{$_{$^A-$|}},+$? ..++$?)))).&{$_{$,/($^A-$|)}}.chr(2*$=-$^A*$,-$|))[$,+$|,$|,$--$| ,+-+$|,-$|x$?,+$=/(0+$,*+$*+-+-$*),$,+-+-~~$*+-+-$|]]}"});__END__</code> <p><small>(needs to be saved to a file)</small> <p><b>Update</b>: You must include the #! line in the file.