There is that one monk, who most do not see,
A quite quiet fellow, at our monastery,
He loves to clean up, and dust off those bits,
And screams at the slackers, often in fits.
He can get quite angry, raising his fists,
But all of us love him, and just let him be.
He knows all the places, he's been here a while,
He knows all the rooms, and then every tile.
He puts things in order, in all in their places,
He cleans up the trash, without leaving traces,
He knows all the monks, recognizes their faces,
And memorizes the information on file.
He rotates the logs, and never asks why.
He cleans up the systems, so they can get by,
He dusts off the screens, and washes the cases,
He makes all the backups, on a regular basis,
He installs all the systems, keeping their places,
And knows plenty of digits in pi.
Yet despite all of his, keeping things going,
His weakness is, it always starts showing,
All of his greatness, begins to unfurl,
His brain just stops working, and goes for a whirl,
Whenever it comes to, coding in perl,
He's the one monk, who knows not of coding.
Everyone wonders, why is he here?
Yet everyone loves him, and holds him so dear,
He's always so friendly, makes sure to say hi,
He's tries to stay hidden, he truly is shy,
He helps others out, 'cus he a nice guy,
It kind of feels good when he's near.
At first all his quirks, had other monks sneering,
The terrible gossip, and unpleasant jeering,
Yet he won them all over, when he helped them out,
He always shows up, he's always about,
Now they're on his side, he has lots of clout.
As if he got a fair hearing.
So, if you see him coming, you should feel glad,
He's sure to help out, if only a tad,
He can always introduce you, to people he knows,
He can always inform you, he knows how it goes,
He'll even just listen, to all of your woes,
He really isn't that bad.
A lovely thing to see:
through the paper window's hole,
~ Yoshi Mikami Issa. (1762-1826). ~
alone, on the web,
drops of sensitivity
embrace an eyelash
~ Chris Spruck ~
In all this cool
is the moon also sleeping?
There, in the pool?
~ Ryusui. (1691-1758). ~
The haikus were taken from HAIKU for PEOPLE, they are not my own writings, but since they were inherently also talking about perl poetry, I thought of posting them here. I humbly hope I have not sinned.
Twas the night after Lulzsec and all through the web,
all my passwords were moving, every bit and octet,
The crackers celebrated my fail and despair,
while my company value dropped to 1 cent per share,
The PerlMonks were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of inbuilt security danced in their heads.
And I with my PHP tracings and dumps
prepared for some pretty bad bruises and lumps.
When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
There stood at the threshold with Laptop in tow,
A PerlMonk hacker, all ready to go.
I could see from the creases that covered his brow,
he'd conquer the crisis confronting him now.
More rapid than eagles, he checked my design
and started to delete each individual line.
His eyes were afire with the strength of his gaze;
no bug could hide long; not for hours or days.
A wink of his eye and a twitch of his head,
soon gave me to know I had no more to dread.
He pulled all of CPAN and googled for help,
i looked like a fool and tried not to yelp!
At last he was finished and wearily sighed
and turned to explain why my software had died.
I twisted my fingers and counted to ten;
PHP "security" had done it again...
"You have reached the Monastery. All our helpdesk monks are busy at the moment. Please press "1" to instantly donate 10 currency units for a good cause or press "2" to hang up. Or you can dial "12" to get connected directly to second level support."
I write Perl,
but not very well,
if I counted on XP,
I'd probably be in hell,
but isn't that what this is,
PerlMonks is a 'dive',
I've survived my own lies and somehow stayed alive,
post code or die,
put in effort and at least try,
I love my job at PerlMonks even when I get two votes and not five,
I've grown up wonders,
even though I rap better than I code,
but that's ok,
as it's something the whole world knows,
I love the criticism,
and the strong truth,
but isn't this why the newbs come here to you?,
they don't come for mental alignment,
they ain't here for psychologogal consignment,
they're here cuz the're newb's with haven't none,
of the laws of Larry's confinement,
we show them the ropes,
diligence instead of misappropriateness,
tell them we don't do homework,
but we don't condemn other monks importantness,
I'm a religion of sorts,
I'll slam what is disorted,
don't put down quality posts of monks,
of the time they've afforded of the quality they've reported,
but like hip-hop,
I'll smash you when all you respond with,
should be Considered and Aborted.