I write Perl,
but not very well,
if I counted on XP,
I'd probably be in hell,
but isn't that what this is,
PerlMonks is a 'dive',
I've survived my own lies and somehow stayed alive,
post code or die,
put in effort and at least try,
I love my job at PerlMonks even when I get two votes and not five,
I've grown up wonders,
even though I rap better than I code,
but that's ok,
as it's something the whole world knows,
I love the criticism,
and the strong truth,
but isn't this why the newbs come here to you?,
they don't come for mental alignment,
they ain't here for psychologogal consignment,
they're here cuz the're newb's with haven't none,
of the laws of Larry's confinement,
we show them the ropes,
with closeness,
diligence instead of misappropriateness,
tell them we don't do homework,
but we don't condemn other monks importantness,
I'm a religion of sorts,
I'll slam what is disorted,
don't put down quality posts of monks,
of the time they've afforded of the quality they've reported,
but like hip-hop,
I'll smash you when all you respond with,
should be Considered and Aborted.
oh Perl,
what have you done?,
you turned me from building developer,
into a network engineering thug,
I'm crushed,
but I've stuck by your side,
you're the only one who I stick by with glistening in their eyes,
I've tried,
to communicate in other ways,
but you update and portray,
how you'll love me anew each and every day,
as I stand crazed and amazed,
on your pipe I blaze,
those other languages mean nothing,
that's the truth of it babe.
For me it's you or nothing,
I dabble elsewhere when need be,
but you're the beauty queen,
who has forever captivated me.
called my ex-wife,
but she's stuck on prototypes,
she can't see,
I've moved on with my life,
I'd upvote that,
but I have no votes left,
it's like on PerlMonks,
there's nothing I can do,
wishing votes were up my ass,
but the lack of votes is what the Gods choose.
We state the well being,
of posts that are good,
some formatting that exceeds,
the threshold,
of what we consider crude.
Some we'd leave in the dust,
good questions be damned,
but I'm just a human writing Larry's English language.
We'll leave the formatting to rust,
but I trust,
myself,
as someone new in the game,
I've seen things portrayed,
while willing to bend the old ways,
I've read the FAQ,
and as soon as I hit the nine,
I'll consider with patience,
all posts with kindness in my mind.
Back in the day,
I was unable to say(),
I had to print() everything to find the err of my ways,
but things changed,
and now I can return(),
to the main() program of life,
where nearly everything burns,
I'm not rapping this on a mic,
I'm just writing to be free,
before I have to split(),
and perform other tasks that bore me.
So I grab my map(),
and put two and two together,
hashing into keys the locations,
that I can remember,
but I've %seen these places,
now what do I do?,
I pick a rand()om place that none of us have ever been to,
but the rules are strict,
I keep getting warnings,
something about being literal when I'm trying to be corny,
but I'm out of the ord()inary,
I'm a chr()acter in reverse(),
I know what Larry wanted,
but my linguistics are the worst,
this is freeverse,
I DESTROY()ed the English language,
I just hope I get eval()uated to true,
before I die() and then get laughed at,
but it isn't like that,
all I seek() is some closure,
I'm not an array of elements trying to get sort()ed into order,
I'm random,
I try to please for() each(),
it's like a disease,
I've thrown away all the keys(),
I write in these confinements,
it's a very strict type of squeeze.
The warnings teach me lessons,
correct my spelling and my messes,
but if Larry's crew would finish Perl6,
to my $madness I'd have methods.
- stevieb 20120409
I'm new to the whole Perl poetry thing here, so bear with me. I'm a big fan of 'Black Perl', so here is 'Blue Perl':
package in;
split my $_=fork, pop and wait;
for my $passion (@to_terminate)
{
map {my $body} ($through and $through);
shift @me,'oh'..'so close to you!';
}
listen 'closer',$_ foreach $breath;
kill $me,'with that little death';
"What's the meaning of this rhyme"?
'You will come to learn in' : time;
if (our $little_code) {'is_run'};
'Then the two'. $will_be.'as',
1;
When code is written by the best and the brightest,
It is likely to be the fastest and the lightest,
Loops would be the most efficient and tightest,
And the code would look great overall.
But if it is written by the rest of us here,
It may take a little longer for results to appear,
And some of the logic would not be as clear,
But it might just work overall.
The question is then, as you may have guessed,
Should the writers of code be only the best?
The answer, of course, is whomever has zest,
Will always work out overall.
As long as we admit, we don't know it all,
(Unless you're a Larry, known as a Wall,)
And code for the fun...to answer the call,
We ought to be better overall.
