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Perl Poetry

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"Poetry" is in the eye of the beholder; it could be any of:
  • Poetry written in Perl
  • Using perl to generate poetry
  • Poetry about Perl/PerlMonks
New Poems
Question 2
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by Anonymous Monk
on Aug 30, 2012 at 07:28
    sub o{ print@_; scalar <>; } o "How to increase 2 output?\n"; o "More fiber you say?\n"; o "Really?\n"; __END__ How to increase 2 output? eat about 2.5 tablespoons of chia seeds daily More fiber you say? yes, more fiber, but whith chia you also get omega-3 Really? yes, really
3 rhyming haikus (profanity included)
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by nemesdani
on Aug 27, 2012 at 06:33
    I went to the Monks
    Cause I heard that they always
    Think outside the box

    I got an answer
    Written, not oral, it is
    The story's moral:

    I was too casual
    Because I didn't read the
    Fucking manual

    I'm too lazy to be proud of being impatient.
Perl Poetry - Farewell
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by Ravi V
on Aug 20, 2012 at 10:44

    here is my first perl poetry, which i have written while taking farewell from my colleagues....

    #!/usr/bin/perl # first i wanna use warnings; #as i m new to whole poetry thing. my $dear = "friends" . "as"; my $journey; @on = (" COMPANY_NAME","ends"); each %of ; $you = "" . "Best Of Luck " . "for all your dreams"; while (<i am gone>) {} do { $give_me_a_call= "on"; my $cell = "+00 0000000000"; #OR #you can just $drop_me_a_mail = ''; #on last Day; }; $I = "wanna_say"; ($thanks, $to_all) = ("\:\)\n", "till the day") ; $I =~ /have_to/ ; $to=pack('c*',66,89,70-1) . #and_move $on[0] . "\n"; #again $to_all = %of . $you; $give_me_a_call =~ /or/ ; $drop_me_a_mail =~ /(.*)..@..(.*)/ ; # #and let me print $thanks, $to, $you, "- friends ...take care\:\)\:\)\n\n~" . uc($1) . " \:\)\n" ; #i mean c u

    When executed :OUTPUT
    Best Of Luck for all your dreams- friends :):)

    ~RAVI :)

Scenes from the Monastery
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by Athanasius
on Aug 17, 2012 at 05:38
    5 Rhyming Haikus
    Newcomer puzzled
    By de-refs; but quickly copes
    With lexical scopes.
    Seeker of wisdom
    Finds that reputation lags
    For want of <code> tags.
    Fresh-minted Friar
    Learning Consideration
    In Moderation.
    Tricky answer found—
    Dancing and cries of “Whoopie!”
    As in rolls XP.
    Newbies, scholars, saints,
    Together in the cloisters
    Opening oysters.

    © 2012

    Athanasius <°(((><contra mundum

Busy Bees
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by chacham
on Aug 12, 2012 at 20:38

    1 B, the special Bee, the Spelling Bee
    2 B, must be the Apple run. BLOAD and BRUN, made Being apple fun.
    3 B, the Better Be, the bureau whose business helps us Be.
    4Bes, publishes a list, filled with the world's richest.
    5 Bs, is a hive, it stings! it hurts! but i'm still alive.

The monk
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by chacham
on Aug 05, 2012 at 23:43

    There is that one monk, who most do not see,
    A quite quiet fellow, at our monastery,
    He loves to clean up, and dust off those bits,
    And screams at the slackers, often in fits.
    He can get quite angry, raising his fists,
    But all of us love him, and just let him be.

    He knows all the places, he's been here a while,
    He knows all the rooms, and then every tile.
    He puts things in order, in all in their places,
    He cleans up the trash, without leaving traces,
    He knows all the monks, recognizes their faces,
    And memorizes the information on file.

    He rotates the logs, and never asks why.
    He cleans up the systems, so they can get by,
    He dusts off the screens, and washes the cases,
    He makes all the backups, on a regular basis,
    He installs all the systems, keeping their places,
    And knows plenty of digits in pi.

    Yet despite all of his, keeping things going,
    His weakness is, it always starts showing,
    All of his greatness, begins to unfurl,
    His brain just stops working, and goes for a whirl,
    Whenever it comes to, coding in perl,
    He's the one monk, who knows not of coding.

    Everyone wonders, why is he here?
    Yet everyone loves him, and holds him so dear,
    He's always so friendly, makes sure to say hi,
    He's tries to stay hidden, he truly is shy,
    He helps others out, 'cus he a nice guy,
    It kind of feels good when he's near.

    At first all his quirks, had other monks sneering,
    The terrible gossip, and unpleasant jeering,
    Yet he won them all over, when he helped them out,
    He always shows up, he's always about,
    Now they're on his side, he has lots of clout.
    As if he got a fair hearing.

    So, if you see him coming, you should feel glad,
    He's sure to help out, if only a tad,
    He can always introduce you, to people he knows,
    He can always inform you, he knows how it goes,
    He'll even just listen, to all of your woes,
    He really isn't that bad.

Which Switch
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by chacham
on Jul 30, 2012 at 23:52

    There's a time to rhyme
    And a time to code,
    Instead of writing this silly ode.

    There's a rhyme to time,
    And a rhyme to code,
    Yet still i'm writing this silly ode.

    And now i'm out,
    Of the two-bit switch,
    And yet i wonder now of which.

    I'm out for now,
    To switch my bits,
    And hopefully then, i will know which.

Old Friend
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by karisma
on Jul 27, 2012 at 22:11

    Hey Perl, it's been a while
    I used to use you in, always in style

    Not everyone appreciated
    the cool code, that I created
    But there were those special few (Perl Monks!)
    who knew, what I saw in you

    They asked me hey, write me a regex
    I'd say, of course, nothing is too complex
    If only they had appreciated
    what to them, seemed so discombobulated

    Maybe I am just a little old-school
    but I still think that Perl is cool

ones and zeroes
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by chacham
on Jul 23, 2012 at 01:16

    Processors i heard, were just ones and zeros,
    Well, being a nerd, i saluted my heroes,
    It might sound absurd, but i live amongst weirdos,
    I wanted to go see them all.

    So, i went to the central, processing location,
    I got there by bus, to this grand, central station,
    I met all the locals, to much my elation,
    I just had to take in it all.

    All those zeroes and ones, that they thought were bits,
    Were just having fun, and screaming in fits,
    And oh, there were tons, all about wits,
    I must explain you this all.

    The zeroes were workers, hard men of dour,
    The ones were the cool guys, with all of the power,
    And yet they work well, with nothing gone sour,
    Oh, the beauty of it all.

    When instructions come in, they grok it each way,
    With memory and bins, to go and to stay,
    Everybody wins, come there what may,
    It's not singular, but all.

    They work there together, with no bit of strife,
    They go out to Quarks, as if with their wife,
    The up and the downs, strange charms in their life,
    From top to the bottom, there's names for them all.

    Electrons don't stray, they keep there eye on the prize,
    And the protons do stay, despite their great size,
    The neutrons decay, which gives all of them rise,
    Harmony is the name of it all.

    There's so much to do, mnemonics to know,
    Which path leads where, when to come and to go,
    Cycles and crunches, and all is just so,
    It's overwhelming, to think of it all.

    When they invented new math, my friend there confided,
    Though usually one path, one time they were sided,
    They unleashed there wrath, and the Pentium divided,
    And F00F, there goes them all.

    Operating systems, written by geniuses in groups,
    The ticks and the jiffies, mainly global loops,
    Timing is everything, to get all the troops,
    And then to compile it all.

    The tools that are run, together in strings,
    All of the fun, doing all sorts of things,
    When all is done, they are the kings,
    So much irony in it all.

    To say it's like an army, is a kernel of fact,
    Each with their drivers, and message of tact,
    Set to their devices, and all of them backed,
    They can definitely rely on them all.

    With my visit at end, i had to come back,
    I keep all the memories (in a nice little stack),
    All of it registered, (though the address was a hack),
    I must go back to it all.

    I bring my report, to enlighten the masses,
    From a processor resort, my contacts, and glasses,
    And this is my forte, do not object to the classes,
    I hope you now know it all.

Really now
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by chacham
on Jul 16, 2012 at 01:04

    I am an old man, and a genius at coding,
    I'm an early adopter, and an expert at goading,
    I invented the cursor, while it was still loading,
    You probably didn't know it was me.

    I told Dennis Ritche to give it a letter.
    I told Richard Stallman to make teco better.
    I told Steve Jobs to be a trend setter,
    I knew them quite well, you see.

    I invented Assembly, in a java based runtime,
    I wrote a co-processor, to help me at crunchtime,
    I introduced Mac to Lisa, completely at lunchtime,
    I thought it was all meant to be.

    I am the expert, at each Senate hearing,
    I am the only opinion, that has any bearing,
    I set every tech fashion, with all i am wearing,
    I know everything, from A to Z.

    I used the 186, when modes were protected,
    I had the first modem, when sound was detected,
    I watched the first virus, as it got infected,
    All while drinking some tea.

    The term RFC, used to be my initials,
    I unsigned my ints, to protest some officials,
    I nibbled my bits, and took bytes from my pickles,
    There's just not enough to be free.

    I showed them that dark matter was a computational disaster,
    I drank water on Mars, so it would dry faster,
    I modeled paper-mâché Earth, when it was still plaster,
    Well, i even waved the fee.

    I queried a database, before sequel contrived,
    I played World of Warcraft, before Chuck Norris arrived,
    I found the Cow Level, and not only survived,
    It wasn't just him, but we.

    I cleaned up my code, before white space was invented,
    I lined up my lines, before they called it indented.
    I used Mr Radar, before Mr Coffee was rented,
    You should never go out to sea.

    I spoke completely in regex, when soldi had rule,
    (Aside from the fraction, that used the virgule,)
    I grokked every hot language, before they were cool,
    When they ask who it was, just say he.

    I made the first hack, at a COMDEX convention,
    I own the first patent, (that thing Babbage invented)
    I had the first browser, until Vint Cerf consented,
    All the pies in the pod, were of pea.

    I walked on the moon, before it was manned,
    I discovered the sun, so i could get tanned,
    I painted Jupiter's spot, completely with sand,
    I love it when people say gee.

    It's not that i'm stuck up, or want to be boasting,
    I just think it's me, you all should be toasting.
    I've been all around, especially in most things,
    There's only so many branches to tree.

    I invented SMS, just for the tweeter,
    I listed some torrents, i am the first seeder,
    I wrote silly poems, before there was metre,
    And decide when to end them, you see.

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