Beefy Boxes and Bandwidth Generously Provided by pair Networks
The stupid question is the question not asked

Perl Poetry

( #1590=superdoc: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??
"Poetry" is in the eye of the beholder; it could be any of:
  • Poetry written in Perl
  • Using perl to generate poetry
  • Poetry about Perl/PerlMonks
New Poems
Busy Bees
1 direct reply — Read more / Contribute
by chacham
on Aug 12, 2012 at 20:38

    1 B, the special Bee, the Spelling Bee
    2 B, must be the Apple run. BLOAD and BRUN, made Being apple fun.
    3 B, the Better Be, the bureau whose business helps us Be.
    4Bes, publishes a list, filled with the world's richest.
    5 Bs, is a hive, it stings! it hurts! but i'm still alive.

The monk
No replies — Read more | Post response
by chacham
on Aug 05, 2012 at 23:43

    There is that one monk, who most do not see,
    A quite quiet fellow, at our monastery,
    He loves to clean up, and dust off those bits,
    And screams at the slackers, often in fits.
    He can get quite angry, raising his fists,
    But all of us love him, and just let him be.

    He knows all the places, he's been here a while,
    He knows all the rooms, and then every tile.
    He puts things in order, in all in their places,
    He cleans up the trash, without leaving traces,
    He knows all the monks, recognizes their faces,
    And memorizes the information on file.

    He rotates the logs, and never asks why.
    He cleans up the systems, so they can get by,
    He dusts off the screens, and washes the cases,
    He makes all the backups, on a regular basis,
    He installs all the systems, keeping their places,
    And knows plenty of digits in pi.

    Yet despite all of his, keeping things going,
    His weakness is, it always starts showing,
    All of his greatness, begins to unfurl,
    His brain just stops working, and goes for a whirl,
    Whenever it comes to, coding in perl,
    He's the one monk, who knows not of coding.

    Everyone wonders, why is he here?
    Yet everyone loves him, and holds him so dear,
    He's always so friendly, makes sure to say hi,
    He's tries to stay hidden, he truly is shy,
    He helps others out, 'cus he a nice guy,
    It kind of feels good when he's near.

    At first all his quirks, had other monks sneering,
    The terrible gossip, and unpleasant jeering,
    Yet he won them all over, when he helped them out,
    He always shows up, he's always about,
    Now they're on his side, he has lots of clout.
    As if he got a fair hearing.

    So, if you see him coming, you should feel glad,
    He's sure to help out, if only a tad,
    He can always introduce you, to people he knows,
    He can always inform you, he knows how it goes,
    He'll even just listen, to all of your woes,
    He really isn't that bad.

Which Switch
No replies — Read more | Post response
by chacham
on Jul 30, 2012 at 23:52

    There's a time to rhyme
    And a time to code,
    Instead of writing this silly ode.

    There's a rhyme to time,
    And a rhyme to code,
    Yet still i'm writing this silly ode.

    And now i'm out,
    Of the two-bit switch,
    And yet i wonder now of which.

    I'm out for now,
    To switch my bits,
    And hopefully then, i will know which.

Old Friend
1 direct reply — Read more / Contribute
by karisma
on Jul 27, 2012 at 22:11

    Hey Perl, it's been a while
    I used to use you in, always in style

    Not everyone appreciated
    the cool code, that I created
    But there were those special few (Perl Monks!)
    who knew, what I saw in you

    They asked me hey, write me a regex
    I'd say, of course, nothing is too complex
    If only they had appreciated
    what to them, seemed so discombobulated

    Maybe I am just a little old-school
    but I still think that Perl is cool

ones and zeroes
No replies — Read more | Post response
by chacham
on Jul 23, 2012 at 01:16

    Processors i heard, were just ones and zeros,
    Well, being a nerd, i saluted my heroes,
    It might sound absurd, but i live amongst weirdos,
    I wanted to go see them all.

    So, i went to the central, processing location,
    I got there by bus, to this grand, central station,
    I met all the locals, to much my elation,
    I just had to take in it all.

    All those zeroes and ones, that they thought were bits,
    Were just having fun, and screaming in fits,
    And oh, there were tons, all about wits,
    I must explain you this all.

    The zeroes were workers, hard men of dour,
    The ones were the cool guys, with all of the power,
    And yet they work well, with nothing gone sour,
    Oh, the beauty of it all.

    When instructions come in, they grok it each way,
    With memory and bins, to go and to stay,
    Everybody wins, come there what may,
    It's not singular, but all.

    They work there together, with no bit of strife,
    They go out to Quarks, as if with their wife,
    The up and the downs, strange charms in their life,
    From top to the bottom, there's names for them all.

    Electrons don't stray, they keep there eye on the prize,
    And the protons do stay, despite their great size,
    The neutrons decay, which gives all of them rise,
    Harmony is the name of it all.

    There's so much to do, mnemonics to know,
    Which path leads where, when to come and to go,
    Cycles and crunches, and all is just so,
    It's overwhelming, to think of it all.

    When they invented new math, my friend there confided,
    Though usually one path, one time they were sided,
    They unleashed there wrath, and the Pentium divided,
    And F00F, there goes them all.

    Operating systems, written by geniuses in groups,
    The ticks and the jiffies, mainly global loops,
    Timing is everything, to get all the troops,
    And then to compile it all.

    The tools that are run, together in strings,
    All of the fun, doing all sorts of things,
    When all is done, they are the kings,
    So much irony in it all.

    To say it's like an army, is a kernel of fact,
    Each with their drivers, and message of tact,
    Set to their devices, and all of them backed,
    They can definitely rely on them all.

    With my visit at end, i had to come back,
    I keep all the memories (in a nice little stack),
    All of it registered, (though the address was a hack),
    I must go back to it all.

    I bring my report, to enlighten the masses,
    From a processor resort, my contacts, and glasses,
    And this is my forte, do not object to the classes,
    I hope you now know it all.

Really now
1 direct reply — Read more / Contribute
by chacham
on Jul 16, 2012 at 01:04

    I am an old man, and a genius at coding,
    I'm an early adopter, and an expert at goading,
    I invented the cursor, while it was still loading,
    You probably didn't know it was me.

    I told Dennis Ritche to give it a letter.
    I told Richard Stallman to make teco better.
    I told Steve Jobs to be a trend setter,
    I knew them quite well, you see.

    I invented Assembly, in a java based runtime,
    I wrote a co-processor, to help me at crunchtime,
    I introduced Mac to Lisa, completely at lunchtime,
    I thought it was all meant to be.

    I am the expert, at each Senate hearing,
    I am the only opinion, that has any bearing,
    I set every tech fashion, with all i am wearing,
    I know everything, from A to Z.

    I used the 186, when modes were protected,
    I had the first modem, when sound was detected,
    I watched the first virus, as it got infected,
    All while drinking some tea.

    The term RFC, used to be my initials,
    I unsigned my ints, to protest some officials,
    I nibbled my bits, and took bytes from my pickles,
    There's just not enough to be free.

    I showed them that dark matter was a computational disaster,
    I drank water on Mars, so it would dry faster,
    I modeled paper-mâché Earth, when it was still plaster,
    Well, i even waved the fee.

    I queried a database, before sequel contrived,
    I played World of Warcraft, before Chuck Norris arrived,
    I found the Cow Level, and not only survived,
    It wasn't just him, but we.

    I cleaned up my code, before white space was invented,
    I lined up my lines, before they called it indented.
    I used Mr Radar, before Mr Coffee was rented,
    You should never go out to sea.

    I spoke completely in regex, when soldi had rule,
    (Aside from the fraction, that used the virgule,)
    I grokked every hot language, before they were cool,
    When they ask who it was, just say he.

    I made the first hack, at a COMDEX convention,
    I own the first patent, (that thing Babbage invented)
    I had the first browser, until Vint Cerf consented,
    All the pies in the pod, were of pea.

    I walked on the moon, before it was manned,
    I discovered the sun, so i could get tanned,
    I painted Jupiter's spot, completely with sand,
    I love it when people say gee.

    It's not that i'm stuck up, or want to be boasting,
    I just think it's me, you all should be toasting.
    I've been all around, especially in most things,
    There's only so many branches to tree.

    I invented SMS, just for the tweeter,
    I listed some torrents, i am the first seeder,
    I wrote silly poems, before there was metre,
    And decide when to end them, you see.

And yet
1 direct reply — Read more / Contribute
by chacham
on Jul 15, 2012 at 00:38

    Perl has a CPAN-do attitude,
    Debian has a definite aptitude,
    Silly rhymes have stanzas that are crude,
    And yet, all is just so.

    Emacs has macros that can do,
    Vi has a quick bang there for you,
    Cows have a special way to moo,
    And yet, there's still more to go.

    C++ has a classy way to code,
    SQL has set a different mode,
    Copy verbiage is always best à la mode,
    And yet, the rest is in tow.

    Music has its own notoriety,
    Linguistics has spoken of an elaborate language tree,
    Using that many words was egregious of me,
    And yet, i cannot say no.

    Perlmonks has links to everything as a node,
    A monk has to wait for his page to load,
    I should really get back now to my code,
    And yet, i go with the flow.

looking for the perl within
1 direct reply — Read more / Contribute
by silentius
on Jul 13, 2012 at 05:13

    A lovely thing to see:
    through the paper window's hole,
               the Galaxy.
    ~ Yoshi Mikami Issa. (1762-1826). ~

    alone, on the web,
    drops of sensitivity
    embrace an eyelash
    ~ Chris Spruck ~

    In all this cool
    is the moon also sleeping?
    There, in the pool?
    ~ Ryusui. (1691-1758). ~

    The haikus were taken from HAIKU for PEOPLE, they are not my own writings, but since they were inherently also talking about perl poetry, I thought of posting them here. I humbly hope I have not sinned.

beware of Geeks bearing gifts
1 direct reply — Read more / Contribute
by Anonymous Monk
on Jun 20, 2012 at 17:02
    Malware on CPAN caused a haiku to pop up into my wandering mind. :-)
    beware of geeks bearing usb keys they may be trojans
Twas the night after Lulzsec
No replies — Read more | Post response
by cavac
on Jun 17, 2012 at 18:33

    (Short version, adapted from RFC968)

    Twas the night after Lulzsec and all through the web,
       all my passwords were moving, every bit and octet,
    The crackers celebrated my fail and despair,
       while my company value dropped to 1 cent per share,
    The PerlMonks were nestled all snug in their beds,
       while visions of inbuilt security danced in their heads.
    And I with my PHP tracings and dumps
       prepared for some pretty bad bruises and lumps.
    When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,
       I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
    There stood at the threshold with Laptop in tow,
       A PerlMonk hacker, all ready to go.
    I could see from the creases that covered his brow,
       he'd conquer the crisis confronting him now.
    More rapid than eagles, he checked my design
       and started to delete each individual line.
    His eyes were afire with the strength of his gaze;
       no bug could hide long; not for hours or days.
    A wink of his eye and a twitch of his head,
       soon gave me to know I had no more to dread.
    He pulled all of CPAN and googled for help,
       i looked like a fool and tried not to yelp!
    At last he was finished and wearily sighed
       and turned to explain why my software had died.
    I twisted my fingers and counted to ten;
       PHP "security" had done it again...
    "You have reached the Monastery. All our helpdesk monks are busy at the moment. Please press "1" to instantly donate 10 currency units for a good cause or press "2" to hang up. Or you can dial "12" to get connected directly to second level support."

Add your poem
Use:  <p> text here (a paragraph) </p>
and:  <code> code here </code>
to format your post; it's "PerlMonks-approved HTML":

  • Posts are HTML formatted. Put <p> </p> tags around your paragraphs. Put <code> </code> tags around your code and data!
  • Titles consisting of a single word are discouraged, and in most cases are disallowed outright.
  • Read Where should I post X? if you're not absolutely sure you're posting in the right place.
  • Please read these before you post! —
  • Posts may use any of the Perl Monks Approved HTML tags:
    a, abbr, b, big, blockquote, br, caption, center, col, colgroup, dd, del, div, dl, dt, em, font, h1, h2, h3, h4, h5, h6, hr, i, ins, li, ol, p, pre, readmore, small, span, spoiler, strike, strong, sub, sup, table, tbody, td, tfoot, th, thead, tr, tt, u, ul, wbr
  • You may need to use entities for some characters, as follows. (Exception: Within code tags, you can put the characters literally.)
            For:     Use:
    & &amp;
    < &lt;
    > &gt;
    [ &#91;
    ] &#93;
  • Link using PerlMonks shortcuts! What shortcuts can I use for linking?
  • See Writeup Formatting Tips and other pages linked from there for more info.
  • Log In?

    What's my password?
    Create A New User
    and all is quiet...

    How do I use this? | Other CB clients
    Other Users?
    Others perusing the Monastery: (10)
    As of 2017-04-25 16:24 GMT
    Find Nodes?
      Voting Booth?
      I'm a fool:

      Results (458 votes). Check out past polls.