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The Pick-Up Artist

by shockme (Chaplain)
on Nov 30, 2001 at 04:24 UTC ( #128513=poem: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??

$perform = abs($exercises); $chest = sqrt($cologne); eval($self_in_mirror); $stomach = sqrt($cologne); eval($face_closely_in_mirror); $! = sqrt($cologne); eval($self_in_mirror); chdir "/usr/local/bar" or die "You're solo tonight, baby: $!\n"; while (<BarOpen>) { seek $potential, $female, $companionship; @Available_Women = map {split ' '} @Women; TARGET: while ($Woman = pop @Available_Women) { eval($closest_female); gethostbyname($Woman); # note: women typically interpret the following as crypt($ +BlahBlahBlah, $whatever); PICKUP_LINE: push @Woman, $pick_up_line[$current]; if ($slapped_face) { delete $pick_up_line[$current]; next TARGET; } elsif ($rejection) { next TARGET; } else { ++$current; next PICKUP_LINE; } } connect WITH, $woman if ($she_buys_it); } return $home_alone;

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Comment on The Pick-Up Artist
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Re: The Pick-Up Artist
by pokemonk (Scribe) on Dec 08, 2001 at 20:53 UTC
    I like this one, it kinda reminds me of one i wrote last summer, it was a little dirty though, so NodeReaper took care of it. Yours is much better than mine. Sorry about that poem guys.

    pokmon

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