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The Pick-Up Artist

by shockme (Chaplain)
on Nov 30, 2001 at 04:24 UTC ( #128513=poem: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

$perform = abs($exercises); $chest = sqrt($cologne); eval($self_in_mirror); $stomach = sqrt($cologne); eval($face_closely_in_mirror); $! = sqrt($cologne); eval($self_in_mirror); chdir "/usr/local/bar" or die "You're solo tonight, baby: $!\n"; while (<BarOpen>) { seek $potential, $female, $companionship; @Available_Women = map {split ' '} @Women; TARGET: while ($Woman = pop @Available_Women) { eval($closest_female); gethostbyname($Woman); # note: women typically interpret the following as crypt($ +BlahBlahBlah, $whatever); PICKUP_LINE: push @Woman, $pick_up_line[$current]; if ($slapped_face) { delete $pick_up_line[$current]; next TARGET; } elsif ($rejection) { next TARGET; } else { ++$current; next PICKUP_LINE; } } connect WITH, $woman if ($she_buys_it); } return $home_alone;

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: The Pick-Up Artist
by pokemonk (Scribe) on Dec 08, 2001 at 20:53 UTC
    I like this one, it kinda reminds me of one i wrote last summer, it was a little dirty though, so NodeReaper took care of it. Yours is much better than mine. Sorry about that poem guys.

    pokmon

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[ambrus]: So that, or if you really want something agnostic to the loop, then use curl multi. Its interface is quite reasonable (unless you use an old version),
[ambrus]: though it's very C-like (serious use of varargs so easy to pass the wrong type), and there are some minor problems (busy loop because it doesn't use the same timer as your event loop, so you have to artificially delay timer callbacks by a small amount).

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