Thanks to monks (I forget who) who helped me in the CB months ago on this. With grinder's Perl Monks Snippets Index now active at jcwren's perlmonk.org host, this seems worth posting.
Non-existent; I don't have TV
Non-existent; my TV doesn't have/need a remote
Under my control; I watch alone
Under the control of whoever shouts loudest
Under the control of whoever gets it first
One of many, and the TV has a mind of its own
Results (583 votes),