in reply to
How do I...Fool Windows into using *nix formatted shebang
It is easier than that. Install activestate in c:\usr instead of the odd default that they suggest. Then you can use the #!/usr/bin/perl shebang on windows too (as long as perl and apache is on the same drive, that is - can't have one on C: and one on D: with this).
To take it for a test spin, just remove C: from your current shebang and see that it works.
Actually, this one should really up on a windows Q&A, since ActivePerls stupid default to C:\Perl has caused so much grievance for people. Especially since it works anyway when you are not doing CGI stuff... :)
You have moved into a dark place.
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.